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The
Cave
12 JUN 07
Some
of you readers may have already know that I was from Kuo Chuan Presbyterian
Secondary School. Every school in Singapore has its own oddities
and Kuo Chuan was no different. We have the gorgeous teachers like
Miss Hernie and Miss Kew (yes, I remember their names till today
:P ) to domineering, discipline types… I don’t wanna
mention her name cause she is still working there. Haha. We have
our own Kuo Chuan bullies and gangsters and they were ruthless…
We have a school nerd-genius with his trademark large glasses with
a daze look in his eyes. But there’s this thing that makes
Kuo Chuan different from any secondary school… |
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Miss
Hernie, the English teacher, is more of an
eye candy than an oddity... |
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| If you
go to the basketball court, and approach the fence, you will see
a hole that’s being cut open. Every time the school tries
to close this hole, a couple days later, its back open.. It’s
as if we have a fence-cutting-Elf working at night for us…
This hole is similar to an escape route of a prison. Everybody breaks
free here. But if you are late for school and you wanna dodge those
super-on prefects, this can also be the perfect entrance too.
If
you squeeze yourself through this hole, you can find a huge canal.
Not those small, baby size longkang where people shoot their phelgm
into. I mean this canal is the mother of all longkangs. It’s
big and when rain comes, its like a freaking white water rafting
kinda thing but when its dry, all you can see is an empty concrete
snaking into the horizon. |
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The
fence elf strikes again! |
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Now
this huge lubang of a cave is huge. You don’t have to
crawl in to get inside. You can just walk like it’s a
huge living room. And if you scream, you'd hear your echo. Besides
the usual teacher defamation graffiti, love confessions, and
random expletives on the walls, the Cave is a pretty decent
place to hangout… Okay I’m lying. It’s filthy
and there’s like an army or roaches but they would run
the minute they see you.. so it’s okay lah. So far, I’ve
seen no rats but if you are lucky, you can see a dead carcass
cat floating by. I hope this canal doesn’t lead to our
Newater pipes. Apart from that, you can also express the pervert
in you by looking up and wait at the allocated drain grill,
where you can catch a nanosecond of a school girl’s panties.
But
the most weird out-of-place object I’ve seen in the Cave
is a whole furniture. No, not like a brand new Ikea living room
set lah.. More like a ripped, old, pee stinking couch, shoved
against a wall with 2 books near a concrete ledge they turned
into a book shelf. I wonder who in the right mind, would drag
this coach all the way in and make a small reading corner. Hmm
Master Splinter might come to mind but I thought he lived in
the sewers in New York. Maybe he migrated here! Just what we
need... a human-rat foreign talent!:(
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| Ok,
I just wanna add that this big tunnel of a longkang is one huge
maze-like labyrinth.. You will suddenly feel like you are Alice
in Lonkangland.. Just when you thought it’s a complicated
mess on ground, you should peek UNDERground. The deeper we go, the
more choices the cave gave us. That’s why I NEVER venture
alone in the cave. It would scare the crap out of me. And the fact
that I’m bad with directions… (I would make a terrible
pizza delivery guy. I am the sort of person who would stick to a
route even though there’s a short cut. And I need to travel
several times to familiarize myself. So thank God for street directories.)
I suggested
that we should make markings, like a chalk mark or make a trail
of breadcrumbs or in our case Twisties crackers so that we know
which way to get back.. just like Hansel and Gretel. But nobody
listened to me. Not to mention that visibility was low because
we usually don't have a torchlight with us (who brings a torchlight
to school anyway) but I do remember a moron friend tied some cloth
to a wooden pole and made a caveman-fire-torch. I think he watched
too many Indiana Jones movies liao. Being in the cave is already
wrong, now we have thick smoke coming our of the longkang grill
for the teachers to locate us.. Not smart right? |
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Now
the deeper we go, I realize everybody wasn’t as tough as
they said they were compared to when we were at the entrance of
the cave.. Now, all I see is a worried, I don’t-wanna-get-lost-in-here-and-I-don’t-wanna-die-a-virgin
kinda look. Loud jokes and taunts become mere whimper and whispers..
And we would make excuses not to go in deeper like “I can
hear my Mum calling me to go home” or, “I need to
study for my O levels” Right. We were just sec 2. And that
would be a sign to make a mad dash back. |
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| To
cut it short, we would just hang out the cave sometimes and we never
did go deeper into the depths of the longkang cave. We did have
a group pee session though.. (I SERIOUSLY hope the water do not
link up to our Newater pipe system.)
And just a reminder, if you are a student
from KCPSS, do NOT for a second think that going to the cave is
fun… actually its NOT! That’s right. And I wanna warn
you about flash floods and the fact that a secondary school girl
drowned in one of these similar canals so STAY AWAY! Or I will
report to Miss Alsagoff!
Miss Hernie, let’s have lunch!
Evil Bunny!
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