I
read in our local newspaper some time back stating that some Tai
Longs (Loan Sharks) have resorted to harassing people by stuffing
hell notes into letter boxes. Honestly, I was awed by their creativity.
But I'm not surpised that it received a lot of complaints from the
public.
Since I have a double degree in marketing
from some far away ang moh country, I thought I'll do them, Tai
Longs a favour by giving them some much needed help on how to
retrieve the monies that is owed to them with fail-proof marketing
strategies and without getting into trouble with the law:)
Stuffing hell notes
are for amatuers. Tai Longs can try placing
roses instead. Neighbours will be so touched by the new caring
Tai Long that the debtor will be urged to pay at once!
Instead of limiting himself to the pig's head, Tai Longs should
assert urgency by using a wider selection of other animals.
Tai Longs will have
to brush up on their image. Instead of intimidating tattoos, cute
mascot costumes will be used to approach debtors.
Instead of the usual ugly, O$P$ (owe money, pay money) grafitti
on walls, Tai Longs should hire graphic artists to design huge
posters that contain subtle messages.
In case the debtor is
one tough customer and refuses to pay up, an onslaught of hardcore
advertising campaign is in order.
Scare
tactics work but to stay out of trouble, Tai Longs must hire
martial arts experts to deliver their subtle scare messages.
For a more informative
approach, Tai Longs can also place graphs to compare themselves
with other money lending institutions. That way the debtors know
that their interest rate is not that exorbitant.
As
a last resort, Tai longs can hire Singing Telegrams.
With a clown singing a catchy tune, that would definitely leave
a
lasting impact.
