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Exam
Blues
26 OCT 07
When
I got my results for my O levels.. I was disappointed and happy
at the same time. First I was disappointed with the results. I only
got 4 O level credits. I have been eyeing for a spot at Temasek
Polytechnic for the course in Interactive Media/ Visual Comm/ 3D
Extravaganza. BUT since I got a bloody D7 for my Math, the big bad
Government and it’s uncompromising Nazi style of education
system proclaimed that my brain is not creative enough for Temasek,
and thus hurled me to Bishan instead… Bishan ITE that is..
and their recommended course? Accounting. Ironic isn’t it?
Although I was enraged, I was elated and relieved at the same time
because, at last I knew my mugging days are over. (But relak lah,
I didn't go to Bishan ITE accounting course.. I went to a PRIVATE
art school instead.) |
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My sec school is a test and pop quiz
driven school. The Principal had this bright idea to “keep
the students on their toes” by giving us tests, that would
be reflected on our report card by the way, every freaking Monday.
So we have to lan-lan study on top of homework on a bloody weekend-
the only 2 rest days for any growing child/teenager. So after
years of mugging for tests, pop quizzes, exams, and whatever the
sadistic school can come up with… I realize that all of
us have our own exams, study habits to share. Here’s mine!
Chemistry
Practical
If you take combined science or pure (or impure for that matter)
Chemistry, high likely you need to go through this thing where
you play with test tubes and the Bunsen burner. I am talking about
the Chemistry practical. The one vivid thing I remember about
these exams is that it is easy to “copy” because if
any one of your friends make a loud Pop sound with his/her experiments,
that means one of the questions in the paper MUST HAVE hydrogen!
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Physics
Practical
Apart from the dumb pendulum experiment, the Master of Physicitians
from Harry Potter likes to give out refraction, reflection practicals..
The one where you gotta look at some thick glass and place dots
and eventually make a graph. Those taking Physics knows what I’m
talking about. The top question once we students stepped out of
the practical exam was: |
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The
Cheat
I have seen a bunch of cheating techniques in school.. From papers
in socks to written formulas under soles of shoes. I was never
an expert in paper passing. I would be too nervous and would make
the paper rustle so much that it would immediately attract attention…
On the other hand, my chosen method was the scribbling notes on
pencils or on pencil cases. :D And the all time favorite, always
proven, never caught examination cheating technique was the infamous
eye batting Morse code technique. 1 bat for “True”.
2 bats for “False”. 13 bats for “This question
is difficult. I think it might be covalent bonding.” Yes,
all of us practiced, but few mastered this dying technique. |
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| Another
thing about mugging for exams is the type of people and the methods
they use to mug. I notice 2 kinds…. The
Groupie
This type of species also called the “Gropies Studius”
have been known to travel like nomads around Singapore. Similar
to a parasite, they need a host to survive and their hosts are
usually an air-conditioned fast food joint. Once a suitable Mac
Donalds and the occasional Delifrance is acquired, they will unpack
and mark their territory with scattered textbooks. They will suck
their host dry by leeching on tables and chairs for hours while
ordering cheap ice lemon tea every 2 hours.
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The nomads sucking its host dry. |
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The Solitary Nocturnal
I fall under this category. This type of studying pest likes to
stay indoors drowning themselves with books. They will try to
stare/memorize/understand countless data after data and by exam
time, hope for the best. They absorb gallons of caffeine and/or
RedBull and secrete odors of geekery. The male cannot study and
listen to music at the same time and they usually come with a
cute mating dance.
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| From all the subjects that I
have to cram for, I gotta say that History is the worst. Check this
out: Since our History syllabus practically covered every story
of living tribe, Sultanate, Dynasty, etc, we have no choice but
to “tikam” or guess what the O levels questions are
going to be. Since we cannot be memorizing every epic battle/ event
that was in our thick History textbook, so all of us in class have
to choose 10 Historical topics that “we assume” would
most likely be asked for our O levels. Can you understand the madness
we have to through? So that means if you memorized about how Raffles
came to Singapore but the O level paper asked about how William
Farquhar lost his pants, that means you are screwed. |
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Soon
the whole bloody 4 express level became one mad stock market.
After counting the odds with some broker and visiting some O level
soothsayer, I placed my money on my chosen 10 essays. The whole
class cramped and tried to memorize their own set like memorizing
lines for a big play. Trust me it wasn’t easy because an
essay is 3 to 4 pages filled to the brim with historical bullshit.
But when the freaking day came, either MOE or Cambridge decided
to punk us all and set the questions similar to…. LAST YEAR’s..
the one that we were ALL told to avoid because the probability
of it was close to none. Kwa Kwa Kwa...
4 B3s and a bunch of D7s,
Evil Bunny!
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