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First
Aider Part 1 of 2
31 AUG 07
So
let’s continue with my adventures in National Service. I spent
2 and half years there so there’s more crap to share and expose
:D If you rummage through the “Archives” page, you will
read that I ended my NS story at BMT phase. (Click here and here)
And as soon as everyone passed their IPPT and SOC and all other
excruciating acronyms, they are posted to different units. The major
bulk of the guys were posted to Civil Defense Academy to be train
as Firemen. NOBODY wanted to be a Fireman because they have to undergo
yet another couple of months training to fight fire. If your childhood
dream is to be a fireman, this is would practically be a wet dream
for you.. but if your direction in life does not involve any fire
or fighting it, then it’s BAD NEWS. Furthermore, to add more
NS misery, BMT lasts for 3 months.. being forced to fight fire will
take another 1 year and 9 months. |
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I got
invited to join the Civil Defence Drama Contingent...
But I kindly refused. |
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guys are posted as drivers, while some as PTIs (Physical Training
Instructor). The Ayam sakits, she-males, undercover white horses
and other special cases were usually transferred to a desk bound
job doing clerical stuff. As for yours truly, through some mystical
conscription destiny, I was knighted as a First Aider. To be honest,
I didn’t know what that means.
But
soon I was given the instruction that I am to spend the rest of
my years imprisoned in some Fire Station and be part of an ambulance
team. The fire station was dominated by Malay pakciks who immediately
elected me as their new coffee boy. They didn’t say much
but I knew they were thinking it, cause it was just my second
day and they already “taught” me who to make a cup
of Tea O. However, they soon realized that this coffee boy is
not reliable because he will always be in some nook or cranny
of the building doodling or writing on my note pad. Haha. But
eventually they made me the “lunch” boy instead! DAMN!
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in a Fire Station is pretty laid back because everybody was waiting
for emergency calls. Time went so bloody slow. Everybody was watching
TV or eating lunch or munching on something. But as soon as the
Emergency buzzer rings, the placid Kampong suddenly turned to
one bad CBD rush hour. |
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The
ambulance is made up of a team of 3 people- the driver: the
guy who drives the ambulance around, the paramedic (the heart
and soul of the ambulance, for without him/her, you might as
well call the ambulance an ice cream truck) and the first aider:
that’s me. My job was to actually help the paramedic,
assist the patient to the bed trolley that can transform into
a wheel chair etc. a sort of personal assistant if you will.
The
first couple of weeks of being a so called First Aider was hell
for me. Firstly, I found out that there are 1001 medical apparatus
in the ambulance truck and I was expected to know where everything
is and what’s its for. BMT didn’t train me ANYTHING
for this… I practically have to make my own notes and
draw diagrams so I won’t screw up and actually kill someone
cause I don’t know where the handyplast is. (I did suggested
to have a manual for FAs in the Witz program and I have not
seen the manual materialize. I guess even if they DID make a
manual, they will screw it up by making it like a C++ programming
text book anyways. I hate highly paid incompetence!)
So
that means, if your loved one is terminally ill and you called
the ambulance you see a poor NS boy looking pale, searching
for something in a big black bag while the Paramedic is busy
doing some paperwork, kindly tell the Paramedic that your First
Aider needs help. Yup, someone gotta aid the First Aider! Sheesh!
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from getting accustomed to the gadgets in an ambulance, and on top
of that, I realized that First Aiders cannot sleep throughout their
24 hours shift. I mean you CAN sleep cause they give you a bed and
all BUT you are suppose to have light sleep.. so that you can still
HEAR the bell rings and you are suppose to scramble to the ambulance
and if you are late, THEY WILL NOT WAIT FOR YOU and a trip to DB
is imminent. So being a heavy sleeper that I am, I slept in the
ambulance itself. Another
thing I have to adjust is to train my ears to listen to the walkie
talkie radio. Trust me, the reception is not as clear as our regular
home phones so it took awhile for me to know what the heck they
are talking about and to make matters worse, they use military
codes, for example, an Ambulance 13 is referred to as Alpha One
Three and Changi Hospital is called Hotel Niner. Negative for
a No.. and Positive for a Yes.. (Yes, I know, its suppose to be
Affirmative .. Truly Singapore!) Trying to stay calm as you listen
and talk to the other guy at the mothership headquarters as the
ambulance speed itself through the PIE, with its sirens blaring,
while a kid cling to his life cause he accidentally swallowed
a key chain IS NOT EASY!
Why
don’t you try? :D I'll make this a contest. Click the button
and play the sound track. Listen to the message carefully and
email me what you hear. Every word of it. If you miss one word,
it doesn’t count. You must get everything and if you are
the first one to email me the correct answer I’ll give you
the Enjet Semut CD. Write the subject header as “I can be
a First Aider and I have Bionic ears Contest” |
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Paramedics I worked with are usually middle age women that had experience
as nurses. But do not let their mack cik and ah soh exterior fool
you because these professionals have seen everything and they will
not flinch at gory, decapitated bodies. Need to take the temperature
of a burned victim with his eyes out of a socket? Get a paramedic..
Need someone to blame if an ambulance trip got cocked up? Get a
First Aider :D Most of the paramedics are okay. They are very professional
and they know what they are doing but I had the unfortunate experience
to work with an unreasonable one though. The first thing that she
said to me when I met her was: “You listen to instructions
ah if not you go in DB” That’s right, NS men are accustomed
to threats such as these… |
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Remember
to email me your answers!,
Evil Bunny! |
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