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How
to Nab that Girl! Part 2 of 2
13
MAR 07
After
the first embarrassing-tell-all examples from part one, it’s
time for me to expose my own dating technique on how to win the
heart of your girl. Like an animal in heat, we guys have to try
all sorts of techniques to get the attention of a girl we so desire.
But unlike the animal, we don’t have shiny colorful feathers
or a sexy mating dance to impress the girls. (If we do, then all
of us will be line dancing by now.) God made our game more complex
and it takes a lot of brain power, good clothes and skill for us
guys to plant a flag on the girl that makes our heart melt.
The
Teaser
Before I go on you must be aware and be careful of the teaser.
The dating game is actually simple but teasers are the ones that
makes it all crazy, humiliating and difficult. The teaser is what
I refer to a girl who gives mixed signals. Sound, electrical,
electromagnetic, morse code, .. whatever signal you can think
off, she is there to manipulate it and put your radar, which is
actually fine to begin with, all askew. The teaser can make any
responsible, careful , decision making man into a bumbling retard.
But why would girls do mean things like that? I’ve found
a couple of reasons:-
1) Downright boredom
2) She’s just being a meanie.
(Yup I know, its evil..more evil than me.)
3) And my favorite- she wants to see if her charm is still there.
Some single girls are teasers because they want to know if
they are still in “demand”. So they send mixed signals
just to let ANY guy do the approaching and when the guys does,
she would say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it
that way. I’m not interested.”
Check out a real-life
teaser below.
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Oops!...I
did it again
I played with your heart, got lost in the game
Oh baby, baby
Oops!...You think I'm in love
That I'm sent from above
I'm not that innocent
Innocence
got nothing to do with it, being a cold-hearted, evil meanie is.
The
Invisible Guard
So now that you are aware of the teaser, I will introduce to you
to the “invisible guard.” Every nice girl has this
invisible guard. You cannot see it (hence the name invisible)
but you can sense it. I give you an example.
Have
you been in a lift alone with an old auntie and you can chat with
her like whatever but once the old auntie gets off her floor and
comes in a girl that is around your age, you suddenly feels the
tension? Suddenly the whole lift reeks of sexual pheromones, and
both of you don’t talk but you try to steal glances and
she goes awkward? This is the guard I’m talking
about and looks like its on full gear, with barbed wires and all.
(But that doesn’t mean the old auntie has thrown her invisible
guard away.. its just that her guard is meant for old uncles.)
Note:
The invisible guard is subjective. It’s intensity vary from
different girls. If the girl likes you, she may lower her guard
to a small wall that you can climb over with ease. But if you
look like a Mr Personality or she had too many bad experiences
with jerks, her guard can be in the form of an impenetrable fortress
with security cameras. |
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So
how in the world can you prove to her that you are the nice
guy she’s been looking for but she would not even give
you a chance to begin with? How do you demolish that wall or
at least make a small enough hole for you to get into her sacred
Wonderland- a place where bunnies fly and chocolate tulips grow?
Pretend
you are not interested in her.
Yup, you read it right. Even though you have a shrine of her
and collected her hair, skin and stool sample in neat little
jars next to her picture, you cannot, at all cost, give her
a hint that you are interested in her in the beginning. (Look
at this mess, the girl who doesn’t like the guy, teases
him, while the guy who like the girl can’t show his love.
What a warp world we live in -_-. ) If you like the girl and
passionately show it even before the girl knows you well enough,
the game is over even before it starts. The girl will start
to scrutinize you and being the Mr Personality that you are,
the results are not gonna be good. You have just sabotaged yourself.
What
you gotta do is to show her that you are the next, regular guy
friend that she has. Electric neutrons will start to send signals
to her female brain, telling her there is no threat. “This
guy is just another male bloke friend of mine. Whatever.”
(But little does she knows that this bloke is a man on a mission.
A mission to win her heart!) That way, her guard will be lowered,
(Notice that it is still there because you are a member of the
opposite sex.) When the guard is lowered, you can then, make
your move as in, do little gestures to show that you care, have
meaningful conversation, engage her mind and thoughts, make
her laugh etc.
So that means, you must control yourself not to look at her
every 5 freaking seconds, keep your jaw intact and not drool,
stay calm even though you are mess inside and act as if you
don’t notice her. Once she knows you are “one of
the guys” she’ll lower her guard. Once she lowers
her guard you can move in for the kill!
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This
scenario is equivalent to the one below.
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The
dating game, explained in Discovery Channel style.
Like a weak baby foal who is lost in search of its mother, you
the carnivorous predator must strike now. Go for the jugular!
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Real
case scenario:
I asked a good-looking girl on why she refuses the advances of a
fellow suitor. Her reply was: “He seemed too eager.”
That was the day I learnt my lesson. I thought eager was good. Eager
tells that you are ready to burst all your love out, ready to serve
the girl you adore. Eager, is “I’m ready to do anything
that pleases you, so just ask for it and I will try my damnedest
to make you happy” But I guess girls see eager as a turn off.
And I have been eager sooooo many times. Until today, there’s
this girl who keeps avoiding me because I’m too freaking eager!
Real
life eager example:
A friend of mine was interested in this girl and he kept giving
her hints. The girl won’t budge and scoff at every attempt
that he made. Then this friend of mine, cease all advances totally.
He was pissed and he was tired of chasing so he stopped all smses
and phone calls. The girl started to call him instead and that
was the start of his relationship. They got married end of last
year:)
Sorry,
I’m attached
Another way to bring that guard of her down is to say you are
attached on day one, even though it’s not true. Yes, now
you have an imaginary girlfriend. I can see girls talk easy with
me once they know I’m attached. The minute she knows I have
a girlfriend, you can see the calm in her eyes. Her guard will
be lowered because she thinks that you are not pursuing her. So
she don’t feel all stressed out. But, she doesn’t
know that your
girlfriend is imaginary, so that means you can go all out on your
advances. Tricky eh?!
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When want to lie, don’t like until like that lah. |
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| Another
good thing about this is that, let’s face it, girls like
guys whom are attached. This analogy is the same as the employer
who is conducting an interview. If you say that you have been
unemployed for months even though it’s true, you will project
an undesirable image to the employer. You will not be able to
negotiate a higher salary because the employer knows that you
are not sought after. So your value decreases. On other hand,
if you say you are currently working, you are telling him that
“I am needed in my present company. Even if you don’t
give me this job, I have nothing to lose. So make me a good offer.”
So
likewise, the girl will find you intriging. Since she got her
guard down, you are free to make your advances and if you can
make her laugh and treat her right etc. she will start thinking.
“I like this man. He makes me happy. I gotta start turning
my charm on so that he will open his eyes and dump that bitch
of his.” But she doesn’t know that the bitch doesn’t
even exist. |
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Never mention your fake girlfriend often or give any emphasis
to her or this day might come. |
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Desperate
times calls for desperate skills.
Lets us just say, you are not comfortable cheating on a fake girlfriend
or you don’t think you can keep up with the charade. There’s
one more thing you can do.. get a skill. I have seen toads at
chalet gathering swarmed with girls just because they are good
playing the guitar. He would croon, “Ode to my family”
from the Cranberries and girls would be singing with him like
blind zombies. In between the chorus, they seem to have forgotten
that he’s a toad and what matter is that the song is awesome.
They want to bring him home so that he can strum his guitar in
their living room. I wish I can play the guitar.
One
thing good about skills is that you can target the type of girls
that you like. If you dress up all black and do awesome magic,
you’ll attract goth girls. If you start a rock band and
actually play good music that manage to hit the radiowaves, you’ll
get tattooed, wild rocker chicks. (I saw this popular rock band
on TV and the musician was this fat slob with dreadlocks but he
got 2 hot rock chicks hanging out in his studio. If the fat
slob was a bus driver, the girls will be nowhere in sight.) If
you happen to create an enjet –enjet semut cartoon and then
decided to post crappy articles on your website, you’ll
get minahs adding you to Friendster hee. (Before that, I have
only 5 friends and 1 testimonial.) |
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Above is a replica of an ad I saw in a magic magazine.
As you can see, advertisers know what I am talking
about. That ad is aimed at guys who think that they can
win the heart of a girl (an engaged girl at that) by buying the
“Vanishing Ring Trick”. Sad but it’s true! |
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Plant
your flag
So, your dream girl has lowered her guard and you have successfully
infiltrated her domain. She signaled some positive vibe and both
of you enjoy each other’s company. You guys are hanging out
in groups all the time.. (I said hanging out, not making out.) But
it’s not the end, she is susceptible to other advancement
from other guys because she is technically still single. This is
what you gotta do. You have to plant your flag. Locally, minahs
call it the “sound”. |
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The
sound is the breaking point; it’s life and death! It’s
the point where you can either see the fruit of your investment
or a total waste of time by some teaser. I know it’s gonna
be tough because you are putting yourself on the spot. Your ego
and dignity is at the lowest and it’s free for her to trample
on if she wants too. But it’s okay because you are a guy.
And guys should be tougher and have a thicker skin than girls, that's
what at least I tell myself whenever I want to sound a girl. Most
guys like to do it over the phone. I like to do it face to face.
But what do you say to her? Every guy has his means.
The Romeo guy will spout poetry and other subtleties, another guy
may
use shadow puppets to express how he feels, some guys turned their
gay mode on and start to blab about his feelings; the last time
I did it was like securing a business deal. Haha! You can relay
the message anyway you like but all messages must have
1) the clear confession of love for the
girl to assert that this is no mixed signal and to acquire whether
she feels the same.
2) the suggestion to bring the friendship to another level ie;
of a couple
3) the clear rule that neither party should welcome the advancement
of other suitors.
If she agrees to all conditions then, congratulations,
you are now finally attach to the girl of your dreams? If she
don’t, pick up your broken heart, don’t watch any
romantic movies or listen to love songs for 6 months straight.
Heal. And then start to find another girl. And ladies, when you
make your decision, be sure that you have thought about it carefully
because guys don’t like to sound twice on the same girl.
My vivid memory of sounding a girl was
years back. I expressed everything and she grew pale. Then she
looked like she wanted to puke. After that, she said..
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right folks- a girl gotta think 24 hours to get hook up with me.
It was like waiting for some test result. Worst than O levels. But
did she say yes? Hey I gotta draw the line somewhere right?
I’m not telling,
Evil Bunny!
PS: Last but not least,
I just have to add that sometimes when you can't get a certain
girl, it's because she has a this prerequisite, example;some girls
doesn't like short guys or guys who are younger than her etc.
So if she rejects you, don't be too hard on yourself.
DISCLAIMER:
The techniques I shared with you above might be used by jerks
so girls be EXTRA careful. And no, this is to nab a nice girl
for marriage and not for-I'm-lonely-reasons-and-gotta-have-some-fun.
I discourage holding hands because little things like these will
lead to unhealthy lifestyles example; fornication. So hang out
in groups and don’t touch nothing. And yes, it can be done!
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