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National
Service Part 1 of 2
25 JUN 07
Since
I have released my NS Song thingy. I thought I’d write about
my experience when I was serving my National Service. Now National
Service took 2 and half years for me and I can split this article
up into 10 parts.. But then again, I feel that some readers do not
like NS stories (girls cannot relate with this subject) and the
articles will go stale fast.. So I’ll just share snippets
of interesting events worth mentioning. I’m
not really a military man. I like watching guy movies like Bourne
Identity, Rambo and Girls gone Wild but I don’t like the
military because of the whole shouting-ordering thing. I believe
that respect gotta be earned and not by stitching some stripes
on your shoulders. And I’ve seen guys have this ego trip
and morphed into assholes. You think you know your friend? Wait
till he gets some stripes in the military and we’ll see
if he still the same guy. And I have seen the most incompetent
men in the military, which further justify this hatred I have
for this "Just Do-Don’t Ask" system. I’m
gonna blab about the NS problem some other time cause I’m
not in my analyzing mood now :P |
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I saw a Civil Defence guy in the MRT looked so depressed
and helpless that I nearly wanted to give him a donation. |
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| Ok where
was I… Yeah. Soon after I graduated form my art college, I
got a nice letter from the Ministry of Defense. They state that;
from my IQ reports, health records, level of senility and patriotism
to the country, I am fit to serve Civil Defence. Now everybody knows
Civil Defence is the lowest of the low. I’m not putting firefighters
and paramedics down.. I met real professionals when I served my
NS and I’m glad I can see them in action but Civil Defence
is like the government telling you that, you are not trusted nor
are you stable enough to carry a firearm. I mean the Police got
a gun, the army got a freaking tank.. Civil Defence got a water
hose…. But then again, I think they made the right decision,
I would so spray my superiors with a machine gun if they were to
hand me one, so for once, good job Mindef! |
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I had
alot of fun drawing this picture :D |
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I
met all sorts of people in Jalan Bahar Camp. My platoon, actually
we were like a circus freak show, were a mix of tattooed gangsters,
blur sotongs, mat motors and some JC kids. But we can relate..
Singlish breaks all barriers. Soon we are sharing stories…
from fornication tales to beating up a guy in a gangster fight.
I remember this Indian ex-gangster nice guy told me of a story
of how he whacked another rival gang with a belt buckle till
the metal bent. I can still remember him saying: “I was
so paiseh because there got this cute indian girl with her Mom
you know… But I still kept whacking at the guy lah.”
Hmmm.. the rival gang member probably got a major brain hemorrhage
but this guy was feeling self conscious. Oh well.
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first night at the bunk was the most nervous day in my NS stint
. I bet no one got a good sleep. Now I am a very deep sleeper and
I have this weakness for sleep. I can sleep for long hours and I
don’t have the headache most people complain about. And it’s
hard for me to wake up... but during NS.. I am awake even before
the alarm clock rings.. That was how high-strung I was. Everybody
was a mental mess. We didn’t know what to expect. The demanding
nature of sergents were hard to adjust. This is not NPCC people..
this is NS. Sergeants would spout vulgarities and they can get personal.
But heng my Sargent is a nice guy. He’s still strict but he
knows when to kill, and when to slide. |
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Some guys look totally different without their hair! |
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| One
messed up incident is when we were all sleeping one night and suddenly
we all woke up by 2 corporals. Everybody was in a daze and all of
us had to get up and do push ups. He said he heard a cellphone ringing
in our bunk (they treat cellphones like ganja.. it’s a forbidden
item you see.) He said the owner better own up or we will do push-ups
all night. Now our bunks are long rooms attached with other platoons.
The corporal was doing rounds downstairs and our bunks on the 2nd
level. Is his ears so bionic, he knows that it’s coming from
our bunk? What the heck? Oh well, we do push ups like I don’t
know how many times, then he decided to give up because nobody owned
up, then stormed out, kick this metal-presentation-stand, which
fell and land inches from my head.
Everybody was piss
especially me. If that metal stand hit me and render me retarded
than how the hell am I gonna make happeeill.com in the future?
So for the sake of happeepill fans, a friend and me decided to
complain to our Encik about this reckless corporal.
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| But
before we did that, we did get threats from another corporal. He
said “You don’t anyhow complain to the Encik. If you
do, it’s easier for us to mark you.” Honestly, that
was what he said. Now I have a problem.. to tell or not to tell?
After a millisecond of thinking, I still tell. Hahaha. Now the Encik
is this huge Indian guy with muscles.
He is bodybuilder of
somesort and I’m glad he was there to control this Jalan
Bahar circus. He told me to state my case so my friend and I blabbed
everything. I notice all the corporals were scared of him cause
their face change like they seen a ghost. A ghost with veiny biceps.
I think they are playing this military game too much it’s
affecting their reasoning skills. Oh well. The Encik called me
up a couple of days and he said he rectified the issue.. I don’t
know how but at least we can sleep better now.
No, YOU give me 20!
Evil bunny!
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