Happeepill Singapore

The Sex Curse
02 Aug 07

Kids! Ask your parents' permission before reading!
Parents! For crying out loud, pay attention to what your kids are doing on
the net!

Have you girls went online one day, logged onto your MSN or MIRC or whatever demonic chat system, hoping for some casual decent chat about roses and flying white doves but instead, all you get is a constant bombardment of lewd sexually explicit comments from guys? And have you ever wondered why guys are so sex crazed and that it seem to be the ONLY thing in their minds? Hmm.. let Evil Bunny enlighten you about the sex mechanics that is forever eating in the mind of the male.. let me explain to you about the SEX CURSE.

In case you haven't notice.... the topic is about sex.

You see, when I was a boy, girls play no or little significance in my life. I was busy stealing books from the library, playing police and thieves, watching cartoons and Sesame Street. Girls were busy playing zero point and five stones and doing other boring stuff girls do.

Then when I reached 13, I notice I was growing facial hair and my legs now resemble the legs of a hairy Aedes mosquito. With hair sprouting like whatever, I also noticed I was getting interested with the female species- I mean I was REALLY interested. Then one day, my metamorphosis completes its cycle and suddenly, I am one of the millions of guys walking in heat.

Now you see, I find some necessities in life as a chore like eating. I am not the sort of person who would talk about how good that Mee Rebus was and which part of Singapore can I get the fluffiest prata. I eat to live and I move on. There are times where I would forget to eat and work my ass through the night until my hands start to shiver.. no wonder I’m a constant 58kg. Sleep is also another issue. If I can live without sleep I would because it takes ALOT of time.

I can do more things and I can see results faster if I can have less sleep. But unfortunately, I am a sleep monster. My eyes would literally burn if I don’t get my 8 hours and when I’m deep in slumber, NOTHING can wake me up. So that’s something I dislike.. sleep.. So juggling 2 bodily demands is enough to keep me busy, then when puberty hits, I realize I have to deal with yet another bodily demand.. the need to copulate.

I bet I can sleep through a Nuclear Bomb.

Now, check this out. If I am hungry, I would just hop my way to the nearest coffee shop and eat. And if I am sleepy, I just fluff my pillows and doze off.. now what if I’m horny? Can I grab a girl off the street to satisfy my sexual urge? Some people may have adopted this lifestyle but since I’m Muslim, I read and have been told constantly that fornication is wrong so this where my mind goes haywire. It's like being hungry but you can’t touch the doughnuts.. being thristy but you can’t have a sip of the lemonade. Errr.. but Evil Bunny.. just go “beat the stick” lah!

All code names for the male's favourite pastime

Yup wanking. Just when I thought that it’s a sport only teenagers engage in, I realized that male adults in the 30s and 40s also participate in this solo routine. How do I know this? Seinfeld gave me the answer. This episode is about how Seinfeld and his buddies made a bet on who would hold out the longest without wanking. And pay attention when Elaine (a woman) wants to get in on this bet as well.

George got caught wanking by his Mum...

“But Evil Bunny, I am a girl. I also got sexual needs what? I can control, guys also can control mah?” WRONG. Yes, girls do have sexual needs but it can never come close to how bad males got it. God have injected a more ferocious, constantly mutating sexual urge on the males.. And I can prove to you mathematically. Just by visiting the World's Largest Sex & Swinger Personals Community website you can have a look at the listings. Check this out:-

Singapore
Women seeking Men : 5,070 Listings
Men seeking Women : a staggering 79,122 Listings

That means, ratio wise, for every 1 horny woman in Singapore, there is about 16 horny men. And this statistics is just in Singapore, a supposedly conservative Asian society.. We haven’t even count the men and women in PULAU UBIN yet. Controlling this sex curse requires A LOT of mental, spiritual strength… some guys have it on a tight leash but some unfortunately turned into beasts. Molest, rape, sex abuse on a minor.. the list goes on and on. And even when we lock them up in an all-male prison, these beastly men opt for sodomy. Yup, sometimes I feel ashamed of the ghastly things men do. (But having this curse doesn’t mean I condone or its excusable to do such atrocities.. get your perspective straight.)

Can you see how potent this Sex curse is?!
It does not even comes close!

Women raping other women in prisonis almost unheard of but for men... it's a different case altogether.

So why does God placed men with such “misery”? Actually, I learned that whatever God does, there is a reason and purpose behind it. Imagine a world, if the male has no or low sexual drive. We wouldn’t be pursuing females PERIOD. We won’t tolerate your hours of shoe shopping, your constant need for long chats on the phone, cause we would be busy on our PS3 and playing soccer the WHOLE DAY. But once SEX comes into the equation the whole thing starts to work perfectly. Suddenly guys start to give a damn and get full-time jobs. They brush their teeth and comb their hair and wear a decent T-shirt so girls won’t find them repulsive.

They learn girls-attracting hobbies like playing the guitar and doing magic. They go to the gym to get buff up to attract sporty girls. Sex makes us drool at the wide hips and boobs-anatomy we don’t have. We are at awe with how girls take care of themselves and have flawless skin cause ours are usually messed up with scars and filled with pockmarks cause we don’t like the cleaning face routine. And because of girls, we start to shave and put on cologne. Countries went to war because of women alone and Romeo and Juliet eloped because of this sexual attraction. If Romeo is sexless, he would be in the park flying his kite but since Romeo is a sex fiend, he would sacrifice his life for his only love and soon a romantic story is born.

No sex curse means no boyfriends and husbands.

I hope you girls get what I mean. So enough with this worry why men have only sex in their minds thing. We are made that way. Just get your nice guy and put him on a tight leash and slap him if he doesn’t behave and once you guys are married, open the sex flood gates and all will be well.. and sweaty.

Still master of my domain,
Evil Bunny!

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