Besides
playing Police and Thief and stealing books from the library. There
is yet another interesting incident that I would like to mention
when I was in Primary School. Like the title says; I am talking
about spiders. There was this huge spider rave that was sweeping
the nation at that time. No, it was not a hobby where you display
different types of spider species in glass frames. And no, the rave
was not about drawing spider tattoos on arms with permanent markers.
Boys of the 80s knows what I’m tallking about. It’s
spider fights.
Yup,
boys would catch spiders after school and organize spider fights.
Let me educate you the type of spider I’m talking about:
It’s small.. smaller than a 10 cent coin. And it’s
not those skinny grey spider than runs when you open your closet
(the American term for that species is “Daddy Long Legs”,
or so I’ve been told) It’s color is black and some
have stripes on the butt. Instead of the standard spider web that
most spiders have to catch prey, this particular spider I’m
talking about shows off his art and crafts skills by pasting 2
pieces of leaves together. That way, he makes a small but private
area for him to do his daily spider things like counting his legs
or making his eight eyes look at eight different objects simultaneously
and what not. Don’t ask me how it catches his prey with
that sticking leaves.. Until today, it’s still a mystery
to me.
Home
of a champion fighting spider.
The white zigzags are webbings.
With make-up and some fake eyelashes at hand,
this is just one of the ways the male Fighting Spider lure his
prey..
through deception and seduction.
Finding
some sticking leaves from a pile of vegetation was tough.. but
my school friends, who lived in HDB flats all their lives, suddenly
morphed into experienced jungle people. They always know where
to look. Once you found the spider’s lair, you must confirm
that there is a spider inside by opening up the leaves. Like customs
officer who raided homes for pirated VCDS, you must act fast.
Fast enough for the spider to have that WTF and what-are-you-doing-in-my-home-kinda-look.
That way you can easily catch it and transfer the poor spider
into its new home- a matchbox. But do be careful, because apart
from this spider, there is also an insect that makes their nest
from leaves. They are known as ants.
In class,
this guy can't even spell simple words. But when it comes to finding
pure breed champion fighting spiders, he is king.
So
now you got your fighting spider in a matchbox. There are more
stuff you need to know before you release him in the boxing ring.
Firstly you gotta know whether your catch is male or female. If
I am not mistaken, the term they used at that time was “kang”
and bu” Kang was the male and that was the sought after
because it can fight. If you accidentally released a Bu in a fight
with a Kang then be prepared for some sweaty, insect RA show.
That was when most boys got their sex education… from horny
spiders.
However,
the problem is, not all Kangs are fighters. Some Kang spider shy
away from fights and prefer the diplomatic “let’s talk”
approach. (We let these go back into the bush where we found them.)
But some just run and shy away even if his opponent is a Bu. This
spider is what we call a “Bapuk Spider”. Yes, I know,
very appropriate title indeed. (We squash these to death.) A spider
fight usually consist of a fighting arena and plastic cassette tape
casings were usually used. It’s big enough for both spiders
to go crazy.
You
usually release one spider first.. then a second one will be freed.
Both spiders will mind they own business and be glad that they
are finally out from the box that they came from. But once they
found that there is another male spider on the same cassette tape
casing, their spider brain suddenly gets territorial. They get
super hostile or maybe they are just pissed and having a bad day…
I can’t really tell the difference.. (But then again, if
I am a spider and someone raided my leaf shack while I was butt
naked showering and place me in a dark match box with no Bu spider
companion, I will be pissed too.. Someone will have to die!)
Both
spider would open their front claw like things infront of their
face and they would lock.. and after a couple of seconds, the first
spider that backs off would lose. I saw a super fight between 2
champion spiders once and the match was a long 15 seconds! Very
rare.. usually it would last like 3 or 6. Spider fights must sound
lame but its not! The best part of the show is when the spider first
make eye contact. You can almost feel the anger in them.. They are
like saying “I don’t care who the heck you are but this
cassette tape casing is too small for the both of us!” I also
like their front claw like things spread like a crab.. Man, I rather
watch a spider fight than a soccer match. And no, I’m not
kidding.
The
weird thing about these insect duels is that the owner knows which
spider belongs to whom. I always gets confused cause they all look
the same. If I can make them wear different color boxer shorts to
tell which is which, I would. And these spiders are not the slow
type of creatures. They don’t crawl like tarantulas, every
move was like a jump… grease lightning fast. Another thing
I like to add, is that although my friends know arachnids better
than any professor from the Animal Planet, they seemed to be bad
spider keepers.
One guy just place
a shred of grass in his match box to give the illusion of a “wildlife”…
right. When I asked another what he feeds his spider, he said
chilli. Chili? I thought spiders ate insects not spicy food?!
He explained that chilli would make his spider more aggressive..
(Hey what can you expect from primary school boys?) What do you
give him to drink? He said “Blood.” (I am so not kidding.
That was what he said) Spicy food with blood.. hmm no wonder his
spider is dead.
Oh
well, yours truly never got himself a spider even though I really
wanted one. First of all, I can’t be wandering around in
bushes looking for spiders after school cause my Mum had a “straight
to home after school” policy. I asked permission to have
a spider and my Mum said no. I even got an ant to act as a spider
but its just not the same. The ant crawls like a train while the
spider hops. The ant greets other ants and is not territorial
but it did bit me once. So I bite back. It’s head was lodge
in-between my teeth. That will teach him a lesson. Stupid peaceful
ants!
Soon, like everything
else, the spider fighting rave died. My childhood best friend
Ah Liong, introduced me to another set of insect fight.. but
these time they use grasshoppers. I wondered how grasshoppers
fight. I was expecting a lot of kicking especially with bad
ass legs and all but after he explained to me, I realised it
was the gayest thing ever. No wonder it didn’t catch on.
Peaceful
creatures are no fun,
Evil bunny!
For
us humans, the most dangerous undefeated champion fighter
is Fedor Emelianeko. Check his hilight below!
