So
moving along now. I just bought this super high-texh mi-tech phone
and even before I could call my friends to update them on my new
phone line, I got a mysterious call asking for Alan Pek.
I have
a friend by the name of Alan Tan but I lost contact with him since
Art College. So, Alan Pek rings no bell whatsoever. Anyway I told
the caller that he got the wrong number and I thought nothing
about it. I ring wrong numbers everytime I try to dial the phone
with slippery oily fingers. But lo and behold, the next day, I
receive 3 more phone calls asking for this Alan Pek person. This
was getting very annoying. I told each of them that Alan Pek does
not use this number anymore.
But
to my horror, Alan got a lot of friends. It’s already been
a week and I have received phone calls for Alan Pek at an average
of 4 calls a day which makes me the unofficial Alan Pek’s
unpaid secretary.
And
imagine crawling out from bed at 7am in the morning and you are
greeted by this:
That does it! Who the f*%k is Alan Pek? And
how can 1 person have so many friends? That itself is impossible,
not too mention unproductive! Imagine you gotta entertain 4
friends each day, hanging out at Coffee Bean, watching movies
and play Lan gaming. When will work ever be done?! Suddenly
my mind started to get analytical, and I came up with 4 logical
reasons to why Alan Pek is so much sought after.
Possibility
number 1: Alan Pek owes people money.
Yup, this might be the most logical explanation to the whole
fiasco. I mean, Alan Pek must have borrowed tons of money, then
ditch his phone so he will be uncontactable! Brilliant! So all
of the callers are most probably creditors and tai longs! But
then again, I kinda doubt that this is the case because MOST
of the callers did not sound aggressive at all. If Alan Pek
did borrow lots of money, I would be receiving calls like this:
So
you know what that means….
Possibility
number 2: Alan
Pek ran away from home.
Now this can be a very high possibility. I notice A LOT of Missing
Person posters along MRT stations so perhaps Alan Pek is one
of them people who had gone missing. If your loved one suddenly
disappeared, you would definitely bombard him with A LOT of
calls right? But from all the calls that I’ve received,
not one of them sound distressed. If Alan Pek did indeed ran
away from home, I would picked up phone calls like this:-
Which
leave us with…
Possibility
Number 3: Alan
Pek is very handsome.
Maybe this Alan is like those handsome Taiwanese/Korean/Jap
actors I’ve seen on TV. No wonder got a lot of calls lah!
However, if Alan is indeed a heartthrob, his calls will be mainly
women (and a slight percentage from gay men.)
Shudder*
That sounded like a bapuk. But I doubt Alan is eye candy because
right now I am receiving phone calls from both sexes and from different
races. So how do you explain that? So that leads to…
Possibility
Number 4: Alan
Pek does not exist.
Maybe.. just maybe… Alan Pek is a fictional character than
was conjured by a 10 year old brat with too much time in his hands.
Since both of his parents working and no maid to look after him,
he would go to shopping malls and write sleazy messages on toilet
walls and came up a random phone number that happens to be mine…
If that’s true and you are reading this, then I suggest
you STOP IT!
A
friend of mine told me to go back and change the phone line but
the thought of waiting hours at Singtel kinda puts me off. And
the calls are slowly diminishing anyway so I thought I’ll
just tahan for awhile. But if you are Alan Pek, I just have one
message for you…
