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Beautiful
People
10 DEC 08
I
always have this fascination with beautiful people. As a visual
person, I am at awe with how some people are bestowed with EXTREME
good looks. From big eyes with lashes that requires no mascara to
perfect complexion that requires no make up, I am always caught
staring at them even though I tried my best not to. |
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However,
being the person that likes to see things beyond the surface,
I am intrigued by the lives these beautiful people lead.. cause
I know for a FACT that they have totally different lives compared
to the rest of us uggoes. (Haha… relax lah.. not all of
you guys are ugly. Some are just aesthetically challenged.)
The
first thing I noticed about beautiful people is that they get
A LOT of perks. I have heard numerous times on how much freebies
they get... especially by male shop keepers. From discounted pair
of jeans from the flirting Abang Pasar malam to a free slice of
fresh prata. When was the last time you got anything free, based
on your looks alone? The only free thing I got ever was a toaster
and that was through a lucky draw.
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Oh
well, besides getting fried, oily dough massaged by Indian uncles,
nothing can drive web traffic like a pretty face. Yup that’s
right. If you look like a porcelain doll and you can write a couple
of sentences, I suggest you start a blog and upload some pictures.
Then slap some Nuffnag ads and see the money roll in. If you see
a slump in the traffic, write about sex. Nothing makes traffic
goes through the roof like a Jessica Alba look alike writing about
promiscuous activity. If you want to take it to the next level,
I suggest you show some cleavage and if you wanna compete with
Google, flash a boob occasionally.
Yes,
do not underestimate the amount of bandwidth a pretty face with
ample bosom can sap. Check out the case study below. Here we
have a girl that make Youtube videos and all she does is STARE
at her web cam. The Evil Bunny gotta bust his ass and come up
with lyrics, draw cartoons, refer to Flash-how-to books and
still the Enjet semut cartoon can’t compare with her vids..
Nevermind about the star ratings.. take a look at the amount
of views; 4 million hits baby!
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Even
good-looking guys have it great. I don’t really take notice
of guys and even if he is handsome, I don’t make a big
deal about it. But there was this incident I still remember
till today. There was a bunch of average looking guys hanging
around talking when suddenly, another guy who had this uncanny
resemblance of Tom Cruise joined in. The interesting thing was,
the guy was so good looking that he immediately made his average
looking friends morphed into a bunch of cave people once he
came into the picture.
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| And
I remember 1 guy friend I know who was so handsum that 2 girls had
a catfight at a pub because of him. That was the first time I saw
painted nails rip through skin. The last time 2 girls were fighting
for me was when I was playing the Sims. Even though the girls are
characters in the game, at least they were hot. However
like everything else, there’s a downside. I heard pretty
girls lamenting being constantly harassed. From wolf whistles
to guys confronting them and offering phone numbers at inappropriate
times. And I do believe that pretty girl usually hangs out with
jerks far too often because nice guys are far too shy to approach
them and jerks are usually doing the pursuing. They emit some
sort of powerful electromagnetic waves that robs nice guys of
their confidence morphing them into gutless, tongue-tied asexual
beings. And to make matters worse, some pretty girls find it hard
to have girl friends too because most girls are jealous of them.
(That’s what cat fights in ITE are usually all about.) |
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Fat
girl: Oh, you wanna act preety here ah?!
Skinny Girl: What for I wanna act pretty? I am obviously pretty.
No need to act. |
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| I remember
a girl from Art school that was so severely gorgeous. She was sporting
this odd China style hair cut that many would shun, but hey, she
manage to pull it off very well to the extent that we gave her a
nick name; “China Doll”. If any ordinary girl would
to sport that hairstyle, we would pelt her with eggs and label her
“Communist Troll” for the rest of the week. Anyways,
her beautifulness was so grossly overflowing that no guys apparently
wanna talk to her (except for a few). And she doesn’t seem
to have any girl friends either. I saw her come and leave school
alone numerous times and I thought surely that itself is a sin.
I wanna
approach her but my brain gave signals to steer clear cause she
was clearly out of my league. Haha. But she did smiled at me before
and for many nights I went to sleep happy. For your info, this
girl I’m talking about is working as (not surprisingly)
a model back then. (Of course work as model lah. Face so preety
work as part time taxi driver ah?) |
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| Some
times I do wonder, what if I am a good looking hunk? Even though
most of you have not seen me before, I have to tell you, that I
am an average looking guy.. And sometimes, depending the time of
day and lighting in the room, I may even look BELOW average. But
let us entertain the thought for a moment and imagine… what
would happen if I have a body like those Calvin Klien models and
I look like Tom Welling. Girls will swarm around me like bees to
honey. I have to entertain girl after girl cause if not they will
call me a “sombong” (which means hoa lian, which means
arrogant). What
does it mean if a guy is hit on girls day after day and bombarded
with sms and phone calls? That means, fornication is inevitable…
now suddenly my blessing becomes a curse. All guys have to control
their desires but if I look like Tommy boy, I would have to work
double hard or I will be thrown in Hell. Even if you are not religious,
there’s always herpes to remind you its wrong. (Yeah, like
condoms are 100% effective) |
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| As I
grew older I am not as gah-gah over pretty girls as much as I was
when I was a teen. As a matter of fact I can even chat her up and
even compliment on her looks without the butterflies in the stomach.
You gotta be thankful with what you got because some people don’t
have functioning eyes, kidneys etc. And hooking up with a girl base
on looks alone is a HUGE mistake. But its still nice to have the
thought of having girls flirting with me though, cause the last
time somebody did gave me a wink was Markus the fat school bapuk.
*Shudder. |
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Stay
away from me …
Evil bunny |
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