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I
am the Law!
25 DEC 08
When
I was a kid, I was brought up in an environment where discipline
gets top priority. I would spend most of my time watching TV cause
my Mum have a strict no outdoor activity policy. The only time I
can go outside and play was if I am together with my sisters and
we can only go as far as the playground downstairs. (We would then
scurry back home once my Mum shouted from the 6th floor that “Mat
Yo Yo” was on.) Apart
from that, my Mum always keep a close eye on me and I can’t
even get away with a condescending smirk and every ill-doing was
responded with cane marks. (But of course, as I grew older, I
can get to go home as late as I want and all is well.) However,
even with this harsh, Alcatraz-like upbringing, the Evil Bunny
still manage to get into trouble with the police. |
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Nolah,
I am no hardcore criminal. But I do have 3 experiences to share.
The 1st brush with the police was when I was about Primary 3.
I was with my cousins playing outside my uncle’s HDB flat
when out of nowhere, we saw large pieces of wood whizz by. Since
the idea of the sky raining Ikea furniture would be illogical,
this is definitely a case of killer litter. So all of us kids
ran and tip toed to see where it landed on the ground floor. Thinking
that it was just another weird day in Bishan, we thought nothing
of it. Soon a bunch of matas came by and brought all of us, together
with my uncle, to the police station cause they suspect that we
were the ones that threw the wooden blocks.
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*What's
that?
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Actually,
they were very nice and they stressed that all they want is
an eye witness account.. somesort like a police report. The
inspector at the police station kept reminding us that its gonna
be a fast procedure but he lied. It took the whole damn afternoon
as me and my uncle stared at him as he tapped away on his TYPEWRITER..
with 2 fingers. Back then, computers had no user friendly Windows
and everything was in dos mode.
And to make matters worse, we have to ride back to my uncle’s
place again, take some photographs and ride back to the police
station. So to make the story short, the whole day was wasted
as we watching a mata fiddled with typewriter ink ribbon. So,
lesson learnt – if you see killer litter thrown from upstairs,
go back home and lock the door and never trust a mata with 2
swollen fingers.
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*Hold
on ah.. alitlle bit more and it will be done.
Now where is that letter "G"? Just now have.. Now
don't have.
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The
next experience was a tad hardcore. As you all know I was part
of an ambulance crew when I was at Civil D during my NS. We
attended to a call on a severe traffic accident involving a
car and a bunch of motorbikes. It was my 3rd case so I was still
new to all this ambulance stuff. We brought the casualties on
to the ambulance and transport them to the hospital. Just when
I thought its just another routine call then a few months later
I was told to visit Bedok Police Station because one of the
casualties reported that his money is missing when he was transported
to the hospital. NICE.
Next time any one of you have an accident, once you recover,
go to the nearest Police station and declare that you lost thousands
of dollars.. you can also add that you lost a couple of diamond
rings and a flat screen TV while you are at it.
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| Since
the ambulance consist of a Makcik Ambulance Officer, a Pakcik driver
and Man Boy bunny head First Aider.. so I was immediately made the
number 1 suspect and so the officer grilled me like a goreng pisang.
He used all sorts of psychological tactics, bad cop-good cop routine,
threaten me with a lie detector test and all that crap. But honestly,
since I have attended a lot of traffic calls, I can’t remember
what actually happened and it happened months ago. If
I can’t remember birth dates how the heck can I remember
the where abouts of a stranger’s wallet?! So I keep saying
I can’t remember which is the truth but the inspector gadget
keep pressing to squeeze something out, to the extent that he
was hinting at me to make something up so that he can write something
solid on his police report. Then he printed the piece of paper
and told me to sign on it. Now I know how these people work, pressure
civilians for statements and make them sign on the dotted line.
But
I was finally off the hook when they checked my savings bank account
and noticed that my balance was a constant $3.52…So lesson
learnt, next time you are innocent and an inspector wanna take
short cuts and drill you into something you didn’t do, just
stand your ground even if it means you have to sleep over night
at the police station. |
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third incident was when I was in Los Angles. I was living in a studio
apartment and my Ang Moh neighbour just moved and he gave me his
used mountain bike. It was in okay shape so I decided to sell it.
I place an ad on Craigslist.org and soon I got a buyer and he wanna
meet me and check out the bike. He wanna meet me at 8pm near my
place so I thought I go downstairs ride it around the block while
I wait for him. How bloody ever.. I was cycling around a car park
when a police car came out of the shadows. I told myself not to
give it any eye contact and just cycle away but it let out a siren
and the officer inside instruct me to stop. Yes, they have speakers
and a flood light.
Now, for your info,
you don’t want to mess with the LAPD. Their cops are like
bouncers on steroids unlike our specky policemen in Singapore.
And they have hand guns AND shotguns in their car. They got off
the car and told me to park my bike and they start to ask me questions
like “Did you go to the park today?” “What are
you doing here at this time of night?” “Whose bike
is this?” I told them the truth and said that this is my
bike and I am waiting for a stranger guy to buy it from me. But
they were trying to ask dig for loopholes to see if my story was
consistent.
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soon they realized that I am not the Cyclist-Murderer-rapist-of-small-children
that they were looking for. But they wrote my name on some napkins
anyway before they drove off. Phew! Lesson learnt, if you look like
a wanted man, never go cycling after dark.
Mata lailo,
Evil Bunny
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