The Grey

Attention: This movie review contains sh!tload of spoilers!

Been working for WEEKS on the “Happeepill Issues” project… my legs are turning to jelly so I thought I’d give myself a break and watch a movie. Since Hollywood has been cranking out crap movies for months, there is really not much good shows to choose from.

There is no way I am gonna watch “Underworld Awakening”.. so I chose “The Grey” instead. If you do not know what “The Grey” is, I suggest you watch the trailer below.

Liam Neeson always plays this tough-guy, i-am-in-charge roles. He also got this low-pitched voice and a serious demeanor. I can be a serious guy too but once I crack my smile, I look goofy. And trust me, you cannot get things done in the workplace with goofy face on.

Anyway, my first impression from watching the trailer, it seemed that the movie promises a lot of roughing it out in the wilderness and kicking a lot of wolves butt. Hell Yeah!

But unfortunately, the whole movie turned out to be a drag. -__-. Since the plane crashed in Alaska, all you gonna see is snow and trees for 2 straight hours. The cinema I was watching in had their air con on full blast and I thought I was stuck in Alaska too. I was close to ripping some of the theater seats and start a small bonfire to keep myself warm… the snow storm in the movie got to me I guess. I’m just glad I wore a hoodie.

Watching the men trying to survive was a pain. There was not much going on besides more snow and lots of running. I think an episode of Man Vs Wild is far more interesting. At least I can watch Bear Grylls drink his own pee. :P That’s quality entertainment if you ask me.

The wolves disappointed me too. They came and left most of the time. And even when they attack, it was a mish mash of shaky close ups, you don’t even know what’s going on. I expected more creative wolves fighting action like; working as a pack, being really smart etc. so the average joe will change his perception on wolves besides being big wild dogs that they are…. But the movie failed to deliver.

The worst part of the movie is where Lian Neeson met an Alpha wolf and preparing himself for a beat down by strapping his hand with broken glass and all… please refer to the trailer at 1.10. I was waiting for this because it seems like the best part of the whole movie… but unfortunately, they cut it to black and roll the credits. I was not amused.

If I ever make a local movie about a hero fighting wolves and call it errr.. “Wolves No Enough” and I blast a trailer that promises an EPIC wolf fight when it’s actually a scene with an abrupt ending… I think Singaporeans will crucify me online and offline for the shameless trickery.

Anyway, watch it at your own risk. I give this a thumbs down.

My mind went grey,
Evil Bunny!

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

I was planning to watch Planet of the Apes but since it came out during Ramadan, I thought I gave it a miss and watch it once Hari Raya hits. And I gotta tell you the wait was worth it. Personally, I don’t really like any Planet of the Ape movies. The last one I watched, was back in 2001 directed by Tim Burton and it sucks baaaad.. And there is no way I am going to sit through the old versions.

Basically this is how the story goes without spoilers:
Scientist found a cure to regenerate brain cells > test on chimps > chimps got smart > chimps goes bananas.. Yeah!

Anyway, I love the fact that they used 3D chimps instead of real monkeys. The last time I saw an elaborate cast of live animals was when I watched Babe 2. The Orangutan (in Babe 2) gave an impressive performance.. acted better than some professional human actors :P

After the movie, I can’t help but contemplate about animals being used for lab tests. I don’t mind rats and roaches… but chimps don’t sit well with me. One minute you are in the wild eating berries and doing monkey things, the next thing you know, you are trapped in a cell doing IQ tests for a bunch of scientists. Heck, I would go ape sh!t too.

That actually reminded me of Koko the Gorilla. I wonder when she is gonna flip and rule the world?

Jump to 0.56 seconds to see how Koko the Gorilla received the news of her kitten (All Ball) died in a car accident. Koko have more compassion than some human beings. Sad but true.

On the other hand, here is a video of a case where a pet chimpanzee went crazy and ripped the face of a woman. Never keep wild animals as pets.

To conclude, I would like to add this movie as one of my fav.. alongside The Matrix and Shawshank Redemption… Go watch this movie NOW! :)

*Spoilers* Memorable Scenes
1) I like the scene where the orangutan and Caesar used sign language to communicate. “Humans don’t like smart apes.” Classic.
2) Caesar screams “No!” I was shocked. I’m just glad the director did not spoil the scene by making him say a bunch of sentences.
“I am Caesar and I can talk! Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!”

Thumbs Up Rating

Planet of the BunniesRise of the Planet of the Bunnies!!

Captain America

I needed a break and wanna watch something good. I really wanna watch Planet of the Apes but that’s not out yet. I was faced with Captain America and Harry Potter. The choice is obvious.

I was abit apprehensive with this movie because I thought its gonna be two hours of non-stop American Nationalistic propaganda but it wasn’t that bad.. unlike the movie 300. I don’t know if they reference the story of Captain America in the comic books. But I thought CA was injected with a super soldier serum and his wife and kids got murdered. Wait. I think that was the Punisher. I am getting my superhero stories mixed up. :P

The story is basically like this: Captain America is skinny like a twig. He is very patriotic and wanna defend his country. He enlists himself in NS. NS rejected his application. A scientist makes CA his personal lab rat. He turned to be this super soldier with no side effects.  Meanwhile, a bunch of crazy Nazis, headed by a deranged guy with a skull head are planning to attack the world. I like the make-up effects though on Red Skull… Very nicely done and bad a$$.

The story is easy to understand but to me, it was just so-so. You feel pity for CA for awhile for what he have to go through but I am not really impressed with his super hero abilities. I think watching Batman fight crime is more fun.

Anyway, this movie is still okay to watch if you are bored out of your mind. So that means…

Movie Ratings

+++++ Spoiler Alert +++++

If some of you are confused on why CA did not age when he woke up all fresh in the present day…. that’s because he was frozen in ice… I was blur for awhile until I remembered the first starting scene… They found a huge black plane with CA’s shield frozen like a popsicle.

And can somebody tell me about what happened to Red Skull?! He just got teleported to another galaxy to visit Thor or what?

+++++ Spolier Alert +++++

Somebody give that boy a sandwich,
Evil Bunny

Captain Singapore