Friends TV Series

I have watched my fair share of TV sitcoms before the internet took over my life. Besides watching TV series from the 80s, sitcoms from a couple of years back were memorable too. So far, my list of must watch TV programmes includes Malcolm in the Middle, Seinfeld and Judge Judy. Not that Judge Judy in anyway a comedy sitcom, but I just love to watch that old woman rips apart a court case and make a grown man cry. Below is one of the many examples how Judge Judy kicks so much a$$.

“Beauty fades, dumb is forever.” – How can you not love this woman?! :D

“I feel like my whole life is ridiculous really.” LMAO!

However the best TV sitcom to ever exist is “Friends” and I bet most of you would agree too. I can safely say that I have watched MOST of the episodes… a couple of times. So just for this article, let me share with you 5 reasons why I like watching Friends.

1) Monica is Hot!
If you are a fan of “Friends”, chances are, you had an ongoing debate with your pals on which is hotter – Monica or Rachel. In my opinion, which is the only opinion that matters by the way, Monica (Courtyney Cox) is waaaay hotter than Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) hands down. Rachel is NOTHING without her hairdo. If you shave both actresses bald, you will see that Monica has better facial features. Yup.. that is how they should judge beauty contests from now on. Shave all the women bald so we can only focus on facial bone structure. Whoever wins will be crowned Miss Botak Universe.

Anyway, one of the reasons why I like to watch Friends is because of Monica. I think she is good gf/wife material. Rachel is a little tad too high maintenance and Phoebe’s mind is not even in the same time zone as most people. Monica is a neat freak, loves to cook, attractive… hey what’s not to like :D

2) Ross is HILARIOUS
From all the 6 Friends characters, I like Ross the most because he is funny as hell. He also reminds me of myself because I am a huge nerd like he is. :P I totally can relate with him on stuff like;
a) being passionate about subjects that interests him
b) being awkward with the ladies.
c) In one episode, he made a comic book call “Science Boy”. I made a comic book based on a superhero monster when I was in primary school. Haa. I wish I still kept that thing :(

One of my favorite scenes is when Ross decides to save money and move a new couch to his apartment. Check it out below.

3) The Writers are Geniuses
If you ever got involved with a play during school or currently in the drama club, or you like to entertain strangers with Flash cartoons, chances are, you know that a good script is the backbone of the whole production. No matter how good the acting, or how pretty the actresses are, the TV sitcom will eventually be taken off the air if the story is written by a team of uncreative individuals.

That is why, whenever I am done watching an extremely hilarious episode of Friends, I will totally be in awe with the writers, that we audience, don’t see. Chandler keep coming up with witty comebacks is not because he is a funny person. Chandler is funny because he is fed funny lines written by very creative writers. I read that the actors/actresses from Friends are millionaires after the show grew in popularity. I hope the writers became millionaires too.  And to top it all off, the writers were able to DELIVER…. EVERY SINGLE EPISODE. Bravo! :D

4) The whole show is unrealistic
This is not one of the reasons I like Friends but I thought I bring the topic up.

Stand up comedian Chris Rock did joked on the fact that Friends is totally unrealistic and I agree. If you ever been to or live in New York, you will come to know that there is no way in hell, Joey can afford rent in Manhattan that size. The rent in NYC is among the most expensive in the world. If you want cheaper, you gotta live in the Bronx or Queens. Same goes for Rachel and Monica.. their apartment is HUGE. What is that, a penthouse? How much are they paying for that monthly? 4k a month on a chef’s and fashion assistant’s salaries?

Another thing that made the sitcom Friends unrealistic is the fact that there is no African American people /black people around. (The term “Black” is not a derogatory term my fellow local Singaporeans. That is what they use.) The last time I checked, NYC has a lot of black people but if you watch Friends, you can barely spot one. Even in that Central Perk coffeeshop where most of them usually hang out, there are few black people. And where are the Hispanics? The set on Friends looks more like Los Angeles than New York to me.

I thought I wanna conclude this post by showing you guys a rojak mix of scenes from Friends. Enjoy!

4 types of Facebook posts I hate

I don’t really consider myself a frequent user of Facebook. Although I do log on daily to look at my FB wall, I don’t really post as often as I should… mainly because I got nothing to say. You guys don’t want me to post a picture of my socks do you? I guess not. :P

Anyway, I find that FB posts are usually random thoughts by people… which I don’t mind. I also like funny images and comic strips. And I am also ok with mundane posts like “I am eating laksa at Geylang.” I mean, there is nothing much going on in our lives so I don’t blame you.

But sometimes… just sometimes… I do spot some messed up posts on my wall which I simply disagree with their existence. So I thought I list the 4 types of FB posts I hate.

FB posts I hate #1 – Disgusting pics
Imagine you just logged on to FB and everything is peachy when suddenly smack right on top of your FB news feed is a picture of a mutilated murder victim. Or a skinny fur less dog with half his face gone because of animal abuse. Or a sick baby with a tumor. Or a bad disgusting rash with pus.

This sort of posts can make me lose my appetite and that is NOT a good thing because I am already skinny as it is. If I am lucky, I get one disgusting, nauseating image a day. If I am super suay, I will get 3 in a row. This is Facebook people. Not Faces of Death. I don’t want to be reminded how dark life can be. Why can’t people stick with posting cute stuff instead. Stick with cute. You can’t go wrong with cute.

Awwww.. look at that. This picture beats blood and pus any day.

FB posts I hate #2 – subtle sarcastic hints directing at you
Imagine you argued with your friend on chat or on the phone. After the debate is over and you made peace, you are thankful you can finally move on. After that you logged on to your FB and your same friend posted something like “some guys are just idiots”. Nice. -__-

So you have a talk with your friend over FB chat and ask her to clarify if the “idiot” she referring to is you. She will totally deny and after that say not everything she posts on her FB wall revolves around you. Fair enough.

You end the conversation and life goes on. But seconds later you see a new FB post that says “some guys think the whole world revolves around them”. -__- To make matters worse the Facebook sarcastic hints starts to spill on Twitter. Why can’t people be adults and learn to settle differences in a rational manner?!

This is just an example you guys. Siti Minah does not exist. :P

FB posts I hate #3 – Call to action
Another annoying FB post I hate is when they persuade the reader to act. I don’t mind if you post a link that will lead me to an interesting news article or a website. I am talking about posts that play psychological mind games and make you feel bad if you don’t click the share button.

I am talking about an image of a mother and a child and the message goes something like, “If you do not click share that means you hate your Mum.”


Or what about..
“This baby needs surgery. Click share and 1 cent will be donated to the “Baby Surgery Fund.”


You try your best to ignore but your mind is playing this emotional tug of war.

My brain starts to mess with me and signal me messages like, “Do you really love your Mum? If you do, you should click the share button. Just declare to the world that you love your Mum and go on about your life. This is not complicated. CLICK ON THE DAMN SHARE BUTTON ALREADY!”

“You must be one really a cold-hearted bastard not to click on the share button to help that poor baby. Clearly he needs surgery. Who cares if its real or not. The Baby Surgery Fund desperate needs money and here you are wasting precious time. CLICK THAT SHARE BUTTON YOU COLD HEARTED FOOL!”

The next thing I know I’m clicking the share button like no tomorrow. As you can see, getting bombarded with “call to action” posts can be a chore if you are a push over. Quit telling me what to do!

But… but… but I don’t want to go to Hell. D: *click share*

FB posts I hate #4 – Ignorant Posts
These posts usually comes from opinionated individuals that like to upload about controversial topics. It can be bias political views, religious opinions without proof, statements that exposes arrogance and the likes.

Every post they upload on their Facebook wall and appear on my feed is like a flame war waiting to happen. I don’t know what sort of reaction they are trying to seek here… A healthy discussion? A debate? You want a debate on Facebook? You want me to explain my point in those small blue boxes? How do you know if somebody won the debate? Via number of likes? What can I possibly gain if I win the debate?

As you can see, my blood pressure just increased slightly just by writing the above paragraph. I need to calm myself down. I am so contemplating of capturing screenshots of posts I deem offensive and severely ignorant just so I can post on my site and break down the issue in detail. But for now I am just glad the “Hide Story” feature is available. Without that I think I would have shoved my keyboard in my monitor out of anger already.

Whoops.. too late,
Evil Bunny

TV Series from the 80s and 90s

When I was growing up, I was big on watching lots of sitcoms on TV. Programs during the 80s were much more family oriented, wholesome entertainment. Unlike today, most of the stuff they produced are trashy and crude. The last time I watch anything recent was “True Blood” and it’s about a bunch of horny vampires. -__-

My younger sister and I would stay up late and watch these shows and I think that is one of the reasons why we are more inclined to speak English. My elder sister on the other hand, is fluent with the Malay language and can spout peribahasa (Malay idioms) at will. Not that it’s a bad thing.

So for this article, I thought I share with you guys 5 TV series I watched during my childhood.

1) Perfect Strangers
“Perfect Strangers” is easily one of my favorite because they are so animated. It’s about 2 cousins Larry and Balki going through life together. Balki is from the country while Larry is a city dweller. One of the hilights of the whole TV series was when the pair did the “Dance of Joy”. I remembered I did it with my sister after watching that episode. It’s kinda lame when I think about it. Haa.

Could it be that my sister and I are the only ones who did the “Dance of Joy” in Singapore during the 80s?!

Sorry for the low quality. I believe this is taken with a potato.

I even remember taping this show on a VCR. You guys know what a VCR is right? Have you guys seen a video cassette tape? No, I am not talking about scotch tape. Man, I feel so old. -__-

2) Small Wonder
“Small Wonder” is one of the earliest TV series I watched. The show revolves around a boy who kept a robot girl, Vicky, in his closet. It may sound very cheesy today but back then, it was one of TV’s awe-inspiring moments where you were just blown away by how “advanced” technology can get. It gives us a sense of hope for the future.

Go to 0.28 to see Vicky’s circuits. This was a big deal for us people in the 80s.

Vicky is still light years ahead. 30 years later, all we have is a dancing Asimo.

Anyway, I’m just glad they don’t have porn back then, because if Small Wonder was based on this generation, the boy would probably do unspeakable things he learned from the internet to the poor girl robot. D:

3) Roseanne
I also remembered watching “Roseanne”. This TV series is kinda different from the rest because it depict the lower income group of American society. Everything on set of Roseanne looks dingy, dirty and it had a low key color scheme to it. Roseanne and hubby are fat dangerously obese and her children are nasty to their siblings.… which is very close to real life. So I guess they were trying to get off the clean image most TV sitcoms were trying to portray.

This sitcom does remind me of some people I know who are financially disadvantaged. They manage to live life with whatever limited resources that they have but at the end of the day, they always manage to pull it through.

4) Wonder Years
This TV series is quite mushy and romantic. If you don’t have any guts to talk to girls when you are in primary 4 back then, watching this show would give you the courage to do so. The storyline revolved around a boy and his dating life. Mind you, he must have been what… 11 years old? That is one of the ways how Western culture affects our conservative Asian lives.. in a negative way. You can expect rotan lashes if you EVER tell your Mum you have a girlfriend in Primary school back then.

Anyway, I did have a huge crush with that Pocahontas-look-alike-dark-haired-girl (Winnie) when I was a boy. In the real world, soft-spoken Winnie is Danica McKellar. And she is an expert in Math! I’m not kidding. She wrote books on advanced Mathematics. She is also married with one kid. This crush runs deep man. D:

Wikipedia page on Winnie

This is when Kevin had a crush with another girl. He was still with Winnie though. :P

5) Golden Girls
It took me awhile to get used to the Golden Girls. Who in the right mind would watch half an hour about 4 ang moh grandmas bitching about life? We’ll I eventually did and it was HILARIOUS. I like the fact that these old women have very opposing personalities and yet able to live together. I also learned through American TV, ang moh grandmas do not have sons or daughters of their own to take care of them. Which was kinda odd when I thought about it back then.

Anyway, the four characters that made the whole TV series worth watching are;

Blanche, the slutty old lady – She have an active sex life compared to the other women and she would flirt with other old guys in the show. *shudder*

Rose ,the blur old lady – She is a country bumpkin and she would never fail to ramble on and on about how life was back in her village. The rest of the girls always tried to avoid her stories but to no avail.

Sophia, the sarcastic old lady – To me, she is the best character because anything that comes out from her mouth is laced with potent sarcasm. You can’t help but burst out laughing. I love that old woman!

Dorothy, the sane old lady – Dorothy is the only sane human being in the group. Without her, I don’t think the rest can live together. She reasons and corrects everybody and pretty much tolerate everybody’s antics. For the longest time when I was a kid, I thought she was an ang moh bapuk.. but after a while I realize she just looked that way :P

Rose: No offense Dorothy but your cupcakes are dry and tasteless.
Dorothy: My “cupcakes” are moist and delicious….men looove my cupcakes.
Rose: Get a clue Dorothy men rather pay for “cupcakes”.

I’m gonna leave this here. Cracks me up EVERYTIME. :D

My relationship with coffee

When I was a kid I was banned from drinking coffee. I don’t know what the big deal was but my parents would treat the beverage like some sort of powerful potion only grownups could drink. Whenever I wanted a sip, my Mum would make me a mug of Milo instead.

33 years later, I am now a burly cave man with hair on my chest. I am able to do whatever I want without my parents’ consent… (we’ll almost.  -__-)  And this includes drinking the drink once forbidden to me. However, over the years, I also realize I have adopted an odd relationship with coffee. Here is a list.

1) Hyper mode ON!
I am already high strung as it is. My heart beat is similar to a hamster’s… and that is when I am CALM. My high metabolism rate is one of the reasons why it’s hard for me to gain weight. Since I have been deprived of caffeine for the most part of my life, my body reacts strongly violently to it. One small cup will make me stay awake for more than 12 hours.

And that is why I would never EVER buy any Red Bull or any energy drinks. That is of course if I plan to stay up for 3 days straight.

Have you guys tried Red Cow? Doesn’t taste like milk at all!

“Urine + Ginseng?” Ermmm.. no thanks.

2) I need to be careful with coffee in disguise.
So that means, I don’t drink coffee every day. I just can’t… because coffee will jack up my sleeping pattern. However, sometimes, I do tend to forget and drink a whole grande of Mocha Frappuccino… at 11pm. My brain seems to forget that Starbucks is a place where they sell coffee.. NOT brown colored slurpees.

3) Once I drink coffee, I need to poop at exactly 1 hour 49 mins and 32 seconds.
We’ll not that exact but I do need to go. I don’t know why but coffee is like a natural laxative for me. Once I down a cup, I would make a conscious effort to be aware of the nearest toilet because after an hour or so, I am going to need it. I wonder if any of you have the same problem?

So it’s no surprise I also call coffee by its other nick name – The Poopy Juice.

4) I don’t make coffee. I buy them.
I never did realize how trouble-some it is to make coffee until I tinkered with a coffee-maker at work. I saw pieces of filters and raw coffee beans and I immediately gave up. Why can’t they just come in bags like tea. I am already stressed enough working as a graphic designer at some kiasu SME… now I need to be a barista just to make some Poopy Juice?!

On top of that, you need to thoroughly clean the machine after you are done making a jug. That is why till today, I do not know how to work a coffee maker machine and I have no intention to learn. I rather buy my cup and it only cost me a dollar.

1 cup of Poopy Juice in the morning to start your day,
Evil Bunny

I have the need to punch that smile off his stupid face.

5 signs that you are a money-minded person

Money is important in cash strapped Singapore and poverty is not a joke. However, some people can get overboard with money and let it rule their lives. Here are 5 signs to know if you are a cold, money-minded person.

“It’s all mine! MINE! If I give you 20 cents, I will be bankrupt tomorrow.”

1) You are a money-minded person if….. THE WORD “BELANJA” IS NOT IN YOUR VOCABULARY.

You do not have the habit of giving anybody a treat. The last time you paid for a Pepsi for your close friend was in 1994. You are convinced that if you spend an extra $1.50 for your friend, you will experience severe financial hardship in the future. You totally believe in the slogan “There is no free lunch.” Which is a load of BS of course.

You do not have to wait for a birthday, special occasion to part with your money and buy your friend a free meal. Even if you are cash strapped, a cup of coffee can strengthen the bond between 2 human beings. You don’t have to “belanja” every single time but be aware of the moments when you can :)

Belanja your friend today. Belanja your friend right now!

2) You are a money-minded person if….. YOU THINK IN SALES TERMS.
I’ve heard my boss say that everything in life is a business transaction. He has this annoying mindset that every effort you do is an “investment” and the reward you get is a successful “sale”.

Eg. “As a son, you sell yourself to your parents by getting good grades and if your sales approach is good, your parents will reward you with toys, money and /or overseas education.”

Another eg.
“The flowers you buy and time you take off work to meet your girlfriend is an investment and if she agrees to be your wife then you have made a successful sale!”

As you can see my boss is stuck in his SME for far too long and his view of life is warped. Talking like that will just make you look like a money-minded, favors-for-favors a$$hole.

Even though it is a fact that human beings do need a carrot and a stick to stay motivated, this “sales-business transaction” mindset can and will backfire.

What happens if the parents gets too old and all they can give their son are endless soiled adult diapers? What then? What sale is he to gain from 2 moaning arthritic parents? Ship them off to a home? You need to take care of them regardless because you love them and it’s the right thing to do, that’s why.

And I don’t want a girl to marry me because of the flowers I buy and sacrifices I make. I want her to marry me because she loves me! Duh!

I would do it for $1.50. Business mind. I HAZ IT!

3) You are a money-minded person if….. YOU SET MONEY-TRAPS FOR YOUR FRIENDS.
A money-trap is a fake bait that a lousy friend would resort to if he wants a favor done.

Money traps can be in the form of promising a potential big project , a new job vacancy etc.  He’ll set you up by saying; “I need to meet up with you because I have a customer that is willing to pay $10,000 for a website and we’ll work on it together and split the money 50/50.” Once you actually make time, there is no client, no deal, no $10k.. no 50/50 split. Just 3 hours of random chatter at Starbucks.

Another despicable money trap can be in a form of a treat. He would lure you to help him out and he promise to cover lunch at McDonald’s. Being a good friend that you are, you help him nonetheless, not because of some damn Big Mac, but because he is your friend. But after the deed is done, he will back track on his words. You are not angry because you got no free french fries. You are angry because your friend would stoop that low.

4) You are a money-minded person if….. YOU THINK MONEY CAN SOLVE EVERYTHING.
Most of the time money CAN solve life’s little inconveniences. Broken sink? Call the plumber. Aircon not working? Call the repair man. Flat tire? Buy a new car.

But if you think you can make a depressed person feel better by buying a new watch or having an expensive dinner, that just means you mind is trapped in money land. Human beings need more than material things. A ski trip can mask the hurt for a while but good sound advice that hits the heart will permanently cure them from any emotional burdens they bare. Wah lao eh, I sound like a counselor. Next point please.

You have a problem? Here is $5 billion dollars worth of gold.
Where is this “emotional burden” you speak of?

5) You are a money-minded person if….. YOU THINK HAVING A PET IS A WASTE OF MONEY
Lastly, if you never had a pet before because you are convinced that keeping a dog or cat is a waste of money, I’m sorry to break the news to you, but you are one cold, money-minded person. A pet can give you things money can’t buy, besides shed fur on the sofa. Pets encourage social interaction, make good companions and develop empathy for growing children.

That means, if your whole family is contemplating to get a pet and you stop them because you prefer your Dad spend his money on a new iPhone for you… that just means your parents have the right to bring you to the SPCA and exchange you for a kitten they find there.

If you don’t find this cute… your heart is dead. :)

5 bad habits fat people need to change in order to slim down.

Most people with weight problems usually resort to a strict diet and an exercise routine to lose those extra pounds. However, I noticed that most of them have totally overlooked other bad habits that contribute to their binge eating lifestyle.

So… since I am bored out of my mind, I thought I’d shed some advice for you fatties out there. XD

5 bad habits fat people need to change in order to slim down.

1) In order to slim down, fat people need to… STOP LOOKING AT RESTAURANTS LIKE SOME SORT OF PROMISED LAND

Skinny people look at new restaurants as a place to go to over the weekends. Fat people on the other hand, look at new restaurants like it’s the gates of Paradise. Discovering a new food outlet is like discovering a forgotten treasure chest. They will cut the advert from the newspaper and post pictures of the Red Snapper with Sweet and Sour Sauce they plan to eat devour on their Facebook wall. Once there, they will be elated when the food is served and quickly take photos of the dish like a paparazzi.

Everybody knows what a prawn tempura looks like. YOU. NEED. TO. CALM. DOWN.

You know you’re fat when…

… you are a photo backdrop.

2) In order to slim down, fat people need to…. STOP USING ENDEARING WORDS FOR FOOD
If skinny people just ate a good meal, they would describe it with words like “That was a GOOD mee goreng.” OR “ That mee rebus was NICE.”

Fat people on the other hand would use deep words that would provoke complex emotions from your inner soul. The last time I heard a remark from a friend, who is trying to lose weight, is; “This pastry is ORGASMIC.”

“Orgasmic” is a word you would use when you made long, passionate, sex with your hubby all night. “Orgasmic” IS NOT a biscuit topped with kaya.

“Life changing experience” is when you just gave birth to a baby after 8 excruciating long hours in the labour ward.
“Life changing experience” is not a fish ball you ate from a stick you bought from Old Chang Kee.

Do you get it now?

Looks like somebody needs to go on a diet.

3) In order to slim down, fat people need to… CHANGE YOUR LIFE SLOGAN

The things that you say will expose your intentions in your heart. Besides choosing the right words to describe food, fat people also need to watch the life slogans they utter. Skinny people will say things like “No pain, no gain.”

The last time I heard my fat friend Shumei experience any sort of pain, she said “A hungry Shumei, is an angry Shumei.” YOU CANNOT have a food centric mind if you ever want to lose weight.

Next time, say positive things like “Live life without regrets.”
DO NOT say things like “I regret not eating that sardine epok-epok in the fridge 3 days ago. I wonder if it’s still good.”

Say positive things like “I believe I can!”
DO NOT say things like “I believe I can… eat all of this in one sitting.”

This is 1 pound of fat.
Every time you lose 1 pound, this is the amount of crap you are getting out of your body.
Do not give up.

4) In order to slim down, fat people need to… KEEP ON GOING AND NOT STOP FOR A PASTRY.

Another thing I notice about fat people is that they will literally stop dead in their tracks for good orgasmic food. I was walking fast with a classmate because we were late for a group meeting once. We so happen to walk pass a confectionery shop when she immediately decided to…. WAIT IN LINE FOR A PANDAN WAFFLE.

I was too amused to even say a word. It seems to me, her brain have decided that the group of people waiting for us at the MRT, can wait a few minutes more. And that the pandan waffle spread with nutella is far more urgent than our project which is due later that day.

To be fair, I ordered one too. Heck we are going to fail the whole project anyway, might as well console myself with a fresh waffle off the iron.

5) In order to slim down, fat people need to…. GET RID OF THE SECRET FOOD STASH IN THE OFFICE.

Lastly, every fat people I know have a secret stash of munchies in a drawer somewhere in the workplace. Skinny people have the knack to work till they forgot to eat. Fat people on the other hand, always have a ready supply of Oreo cookies within reach.

Like a squirrel getting ready for winter, the type of food fat people hoard can range from sweets, Snicker bars, and dry rectangular Khong Guan biscuits…. to 10 piece family meal set from KFC. Try stealing some food from the stash and watch your meek fat friend turn to a pissed off grizzly bear!

You are not losing ANY weight if you have food stashed somewhere. Stick to 3 meals a day and clear that drawer out! And stop munching while you are on your desk working. You cannot get serious work done with your right hand clutching a stack of oily potato chips.

7-11 is open 24 HOURS, EVERY DAY. There is NO NEED to keep any food on standby.

Note: I know some of you have weight problems but I wanna remind everyone that this is a humor site so don’t take the things I worte too seriously lah. The last thing i want is anybody feeling depress. Ok? We cool now? Friends forever? Yes? Awesome! High five! Here’s a cat to make you smile.

6 things you will see on Valentine’s Day

Winson suggested that I should write something about Valentine’s Day. Even though I don’t celebrate it, I’m gonna oblige anyway. So here you go… :)

6 things you will see on Valentine’s Day

1) On Valentine’s Day you will see….  BOYS IN LOVE AND BOYS WITH BLUE BALLS
I like watching teenage boys stand awkwardly while clutching gifts in a crowded MRT train on Valentine’s Day. The stuff that he buys will indicate how bad he is in love with the girl. Here’s a good tell-tale sign of his love life.

  • 3 stalks of roses = He loves her but is ready to ditch her once a girl with bigger boobs comes along.
  • A dozen roses with a teddy bear = He is ready to propose… right after he finish his NS and get a job.
  • A dozen roses, a teddy bear, a cake and a heart shaped balloon =  He is a walking time bomb ready to explode. He is sick of being a virgin and he can’t wait to get laid…. screaming “NO” will not compute.

You can also make her happy by buying a cucumber of love.

2) On Valentine’s Day you will see…. BLACK MARKET FLOWER PRICES
Valentine’s Day is also the day when your friendly florist uncle suddenly turned to a greedy drug dealer. Any plant with a petal is worth more than cocaine. Good luck trying to buy a get-well basket of flowers for your hospitalized friend. Get him a get-well basket full of moth balls instead.

You can also try buying much cheaper ice-cream flowers instead.
Tell her if the flower ice-cream melts, the love ants will come.

3) On Valentine’s Day you will see…. PEOPLE GETTING DEPRESSED
Forever-alone, depressing posts will flood your Facebook wall. People will lament about lost loves, failed marriages and stubborn STDs that refuse to go away. You will have to endure 3 hours “conversations” from friends whining how much they miss their exes. Single, career women in their 30s will cry themselves to sleep.

4) On Valentine’s Day you will see…. CONFUSED MUSLIMS
Some Muslims will also join the festivity by buying roses and heart-shaped chocolates, exposing their lack of knowledge about their own religion. They will defend their actions by saying that the day will strengthen their relationship /marriage. Tell them that “No Pants Day” is coming in May and encourage them to celebrate that too.

pants day

5) On Valentine’s Day you will see…. PUBLIC DISPLAY OF AFFECTION
Shameless couples in heat will grope and kiss in front of you and your children. They will try to imitate kamasutra scenes from movies starring Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. The problem is that, none of them look like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Be sure to bring a vomit bag just in case.

6) On Valentine’s Day you will see… AN INCREASE IN PREMARITAL SEX
Premarital sex will sky rocket. If you have a daughter, make sure she does not lose her virginity on this day. If she tells you her boyfriend plans to show her a “magic wand” after Valentine’s Day dinner and both of them are not Harry Potter fans, you have the right to be worried.

I want you to touch my magic wand. Do it…. DO IT!

6 ways to shift the blame on the train breakdowns

The SMRT’s internal investigation team will present a report on the causes of train disruptions last year by March 2012. The whole nation will be waiting for this report and I can understand the stress SMRT is going through.

I mean, every single train-relying Singaporean will watch for this report and cannot wait to know who or what is behind all those trains breakdowns.

And for most SMRT workers, it’s worse than waiting for your O level results because inevitably, some workers may get fired. I bet the some of the reasons for the whole fiasco may be due to negligence in the workplace D: And I, for one, do not want to see anybody lose their job.

So…  to avoid any impending massive layoffs, I have came up with 6 ways the SMRT can place the blame on, so that nobody will get fired, appease Singaporeans and shove this bad episode under the rug so life can go on. :)

1) Put the blame on… RATS!
New York subways are infested with huge gangster rats. They will crawl all over the train tracks and when bored, chew on electrical wires. So why not blame RATS for the whole blunder. That way, the Govt can contact NEA, AVA and private pest control agencies to deal with the “rat problem”. We can divert the anger to those pesky ugly rodents instead of tackling the real issue. Nobody gets fired. Life goes on :)

A random New York city gangster rat. That polyester teeth can gnaw through ANYTHING!

2) Put the blame on… A FRESH GRADUATE!
Point all the blame to a fresh-off-school SMRT employee. Tell the masses that Tan Mei Ling, 19 was just hired by SMRT to man the “Central Train Core Systems” but she SLEPT on the job. Explain to the masses that she is a fresh Polytechnic ITE graduate with ZERO work experience and was the cause for ALL the cock ups. Secretly take a picture of Tan Mei Ling putting on her most blur-sotong facial expression and publish it on all newspapers. The public will rise and divert all their anger on poor blur Mei Ling. The clueless Ah Lian will be fired and everybody will calm down. Nobody ELSE gets fired. Life goes on. :)

3) Put the blame on… A PRC!
PRCs already have a bad reputation here so why not put all the blame on one. Be sure to mention that Mr. Hu Su Tze came from some obscure village of Banzhushan in Hunan province. The onslaught of unfamiliar foreign names can immediately jam any Singaporean brain. After that, conduct a live interview and purposely ask him questions like “Why didn’t you push the red button when you are paid to do it?” He will of course give you the lost blur look because he doesn’t understand a word of English.  Easily calm the public down by stating that Su Tze have been deported. Nobody gets fired. Life goes on. :)

4) Put the blame on… A MISHAP DONE YEARS AGO!
Blame the train breakdowns to a construction fault done in 1982! Tell the public that the Govt cannot locate the negligent foreigner worker because he is DEAD. The public will now be too indifferent to blame anybody. After all, the mishap happened 30 years ago. Immediately slide in a piece of good news by declaring that a popular Korean pop group will be coming to perform a concert. Ticket sales now at all SISTIC outlets. Riots diverted. Nobody gets fired. Life goes on :)

concert Linkin Park

Follow up any National disaster, GST hike, unpopular Government policy immediately with a concert.

5) Put the blame on… OBSOLETE PARTS!
Blame the whole tragedy on obsolete train parts and demand a rise in commuters’ fares to fix it. Use technical jargon that will confuse any Singaporean who does not have a clue about train mechanical sorcery engineering. Claim that all “sprocket nut balls” are needed to be replaced immediately and the “chassis torque gear converter”  looks like it is going to collapse at any moment. No one will ever complain about any train breakdowns in the future. Nobody gets fired. Life goes on :)


We also need to buy 500,000 pieces of this “Phoenix brand Train gear brackets” … in RED so that all commuters will enjoy a better transit experience.

6) Put the blame on… THE MAYANS!
Get on board the Doomsday conspiracy and blame the train breakdowns on the Mayans. Better yet, blame every mishap that is going to happen for the rest of 2012 on the ancient civilization. Orchard Road ponding and Bedok Suicide Reservoir are all caused by an evil curse from Mayan bomohs. Superstitious Singaporeans will totally buy into all that crap and will be too busy preparing for Doomsday to even care. Nobody gets fired. Life goes on :)

Mayan Music | Xcaret

From now on I am going to blame all my problems on these guys. And no, I do not want to hear the song from your people!

SMRT extends deadline for report on breakdowns

Cars for your Gonads

To stop its ever increasing population, India has come up with a ingenious policy. It is offering a car, motorcycles, cash, tv and blenders to men. And in return, the men must be willing to undergo surgery…… to chop off their balls. -__-“

Nah.. I keed! :P The guys need to go through a VASECTOMY.. totally different from CASTRATION folks.

What?! You gonna sterilize me like a stray cat and reward me with a BLENDER?! Sounds like a good deal to me! I would go under the knife for a TOASTER! What would you choose; a crying kid that needs diaper changing or fresh toast for breakfast. I rest my case :P

Read the article


Hey guys,

Just wanna do a short update and share with you guys what’s up. The site is slowly progressing to how I want it to be. First I transferred the old site to WordPress platform. (I have yet to upload old content by the way.. I keep putting it off. -__-“) Then, I went on to work on the already completed and live, Happeepill Show episode 13 and 14. And lastly, I got the login system in working order.

The cartoons were already completed and ready to load.. but I faced technical problems with the Login system. I had to practically sit down and watch videos in order to figure the script out. And here I thought, it was a plug and play, hassle-free kinda thing.

But at least now, the worse is over… (or is it?) I can just focus on making articles and cartoons. My plan right now is to grow the member base and once it reaches critical mass, I can then rent the Singapore indoor stadium so we can all meet up. Haha. I’m just kidding. Probably I’ll just book 3 tables at the coffee shop near my place. And I’ll turn up with casual t-shirt, bermudas and slippers. Hee…

Hope you guys like Episode 13 and 14. And thanks for being patient… if you do not hear anything from me on this site, Facebook or twitter, that just means I’m busy working on stuff. :)

I’m here to stay,
Evil Bunny

PS: If you have problems login in, feel free to contact me. The login system is quite solid. So most of the time, I realize that it’s the user that did not check his/her spam folder or did not type the email address or password correctly :)

Epi 13 Sneak Peek

I’m working on Happeepill Episode 13 right now and I have 2 scenes left for me to draw. I hope I can complete everything once Monday hits. But I highly doubt so cause theres still more things yet to be drawn.

Ironically Happeepill Episode 14 is done! Yay! And that is strictly for members only. And that reminds me I have yet to buy the WordPress plugin and test to make sure it works fine. Haizz.. My work doesn’t seem to end.

Grumpy rabbit,
Evil Bunny

Phu Custom Toys

As soon as I was out from the Tiger style Secondary education that I was subjected to for four years, I always had my sights on getting myself trained in an art school. I was very much interested in Art and Design and get excited whenever I saw a creative print ad, commercial on TV, a good movie and video games. Besides, I started drawing Smurfs since Kindergarten and I have graduated to drawing doodles all over my literature textbook. So taking Graphic Design was a natural progression for me.

When I did enrolled in an art school, I was very fortunate to have met with other like-minded, art inclined individuals. Some have their own specialty and it was very refreshing to be amongst people with the same interests and who are also serious in being good creative professionals.

Now YEARS later, although I have grown to detest the entire print industry with their never-ending unpaid OTs and Graphic Design itself as an occupation, one of the highlights of my creative endeavor is this site itself.

If I had chosen another career, for example a Nurse, I would have not picked up Flash and Ah Leong Dreams will cease to exist. I would be whistling the tune instead with cartoon images filled my mind as I wipe the poop off some uncle’s a$$ because he just got food poisoning after eating an extra spicy laksa.

Anyway, some of my pals from art school have also made their mark in the local creative scene. So for this post, I’m gonna showcase one of the works by my ex art school mate and he is in the business of making custom toys. :D

His company’s name/toy brand name is called “Phu”. And basically, he designs, paints and use recycled materials to create his vinyl toys. I like the fact that the toys are highly detailed. I mean look at the rust and the wear and tear on the robot. You know he been through some rough times. And the fact that each toy is also unique is a definite plus factor – these toys are not mass produced by some factory in Taiwan folks.

Phu have been working on custom toys for more than 6 years so that means he got some some major experience. If you ask EB to make a toy, probably I can only make you a custom sock puppet. -__-

For those of you who are interested and want a custom toy done you can contact him at

Email :
You can browse more toys at his website:
Follow him on Twitter! :

Order info:
Price varies around $300 – $500. Usually a 3-inch takes me five days while 8-10 inch takes me two weeks. Again it all depends on the intricacy of the details. As such completion will take slightly longer.

Phu says:
My ideas are usually random. Once an idea strikes, I’ll sketch it. After which I’ll develop it in line with my concept of ‘Phuturistic’ or ‘Rebel’. If  I have a story, my custom will bare a character or if I have character, it will tell a story, vice versa. ‘Phuturistic’ derives from the word ‘future’ and that’s where my customs are directed towards; future possibilities. I’m in this for the long run, thus moving ahead is the only way to stay in this game. ‘Rebel’ is to defy; defying the conventional. My custom are made of scrap materials. So what others see a trash, I see as treasure.

Facebook and Twitter

If you know me long enough, you will understand that I tend to give my truthful, sincere opinion on pretty much about anything. If New York is filthy and have a broken down train system, I will say so. It seem that some people are shy to say they had a crappy vacation because they do not want to give you an impression that they wasted money, but for me, I’ve always have the knack to tell you how it is… even though sometimes it may seem hard to swallow.

Before I go on and write about social media, I do not want to give you the “I-am-better-than-all-this-social-media-nonsense-because-I-have-a-life-all-of-you-are-online-losers” impression.

Honestly, I am not really social media kind of person. When Friendster was hot, I signed up because all my friends were using it and I had to check it out. I wasn’t active on it and I only added like what.. 6 friends? The thing about Friendster I like was that I could rummage through other people’s photos. Hehe.

And the ONLY reason why I opened a Facebook and Twitter account is because of Happeepill fans. At first I thought giving out my email addy was enough for Happeepill visitors to contact me but I was very surprised on how active you guys are on these social networks… ESPECIALLY Facebook. I can still remember posting my 1st post on the Happeepill FB wall and within SECONDS I got a “like” and it was 3 IN THE MORNING!

To me, Facebook is social media done right. Even though I love design, I am glad they did not give users the option to “decorate” their profile background page. I have seen background designs on Myspace that could make eyes bleed. Another thing I was impressed with Facebook is that fact that you cannot sign up with a fake name. I entered Evil Bunny and the system totally rejected my form. So that means, if you have a Friendster account that says “SuperStarCutie69”.. its not gonna work on FB you see. FYI, you can only add your nick name later.

With that tweak alone, I heard FB users claim that they found their long lost, primary school/childhood friend, neighbor, separated at birth sibling etc. All this is because everybody was using their real names. :)

Apart from that, I find FB awfully boring. And worse, since I am now 33, my wall is filled with images of babies. I don’t mind kids but albums after albums of toddlers can be annoying. :P I think if FB were to exist earlier during my Art school days, at least it will be filled with pics of friends and Art-works in progress.

Twitter on the other hand took a long while for me to get accustomed to. It was like reading a feed of random remarks. I like the ones that are funny but most are just mundane stuff like “I am doing my laundry.” I was skeptical to who would read this sh!t? But once I post a couple of tweets, I realize it wasn’t half bad. Twitter is also good for stalking cause I can actually see what some of my fans are doing 2 mins, an hour, 8 hours ago. Some even tweet their location. It’s like sending an SMS but instead of 1 recipient receiving and reading your message, the whole bloody planet can read it too… or maybe just your 12 followers.

Anyway, I’ll try my best to update my FB status and tweet often… even though half of the time, I don’t know what to post. -__- If you guys migrate to another social media platform, God willing, I’ll be there too. :D

I stalk you, you stalk me,
Evil Bunny

PS: Facebook is going to introduce a new feature called “Timelines”. And your profile is gonna look like this. Is it just me of does it look like Myspace/Friendster all over again?

US Postal Service Going Bankrupt

Apparently, the US is so broke that it may shut down all US post offices at the end of September. If the US Postal Service cannot pay a $5.5 billion payment due this month, that means, you cannot send any mail and parcels to the US. Try using FedEx or UPS instead.

I have always been looking out for signs of the FINAL US economic collapse. I am not looking forward to it but at least I want to be prepared. I thought it is going to be in the form of martial law in some states. But a defunct Postal Service is a good enough indication that the end is near.

I will only start to panic if ONE MORE Government agency goes bankrupt. If that ever happens, I will go to Plan A.

“What’s Plan A, EB? Is that the plan where you wanna catch and eat squirrels at Bukit Timah?”

No, that’s Plan B.

Plan A is to stock up on cans of food and get a survival kit handy.

Once all emergency food supplies have been exhausted, Plan B will force me to live like jungle people and hunt for squirrels and berries.

Once I ate every edible rodent Bukit Timah have to offer, I will try to survive with Plan C.

“What’s Plan C, EB?

Plan C………. sell backside at Geylang. -__-“

No money to send mail, plenty of money for war,
Evil Bunny!