5 days ago, I wrote about an article to help guys on “How to Tell if a Girl Don’t Like You.” Then I read a comment by Amin98872714 (yes it comes complete with an IC number), asking me how to deal with rejections.
Since I am an expert with getting rejected numerous times, this topic is right up my alley. 
So for those of you guys out there who are still bawling and crying your heart out because some girl did not like you the same way you like her, I suggest you dry away your man tears and follow the advice below.
1) Snow White is your enemy
The first thing you need to do is to shut down any form of media that depict romance. Any lovey-dovey scenes that will remind you of her, relationships, love and make you weak, must be eliminated from your system. So that means, you cannot watch ANY romantic movies and even romantic cartoons from Disney…FOR A LONG TIME. Snow White and her Prince Charming will make you depress. They will live happily ever after and you are still forever alone. It will get so bad, you will start entertaining the thought of giving the girl next door a chance. She’s been giving you flirty smiles but she got no teeth.
So before you lower your standard and date a girl with dentures, numb your brain by watching re-runs of Tellytubbies instead.
2) Do not hang out with troll couples.
Some couple friends are ok to be with but some couple friends are just downright inconsiderate. They will grope each other, whisper small chats to each other ears, laugh at inside jokes amongst themselves, perform Kamasutra in broad daylight… all IN FRONT OF YOU. You will feel like a bloody forgotten lamppost. Even if your light bulb blows out, nobody-will-change it-because-even-the-Govt,-forgot-you-exist type of lamppost. And since you just suffered a recent rejection, you will feel worse.
I suggest you hang around with other single lonely male pals because at least their conversations will revolve around soccer, being broke, how long they have been unemployed, FT bashing topics and video games. Which brings me to…
3) You need to destroy the last boss on expert mode.
To cure a broken heart requires your mind to stay busy. So that means you need to invest on a Playstation if you don’t have one. If that is too expensive, buy a PC game instead. Games today are so complicated and immersive; you will spend weeks trying to figure out how to kill the sniper at level 355. You are always getting shot and you can’t even see him! Darn it!
By the time you get to the last boss, your brain will effectively turn to mush and you can’t even think straight to even remember what’s-her-face.
4) Love songs are evil songs
Unlike movies, love songs can pull your heart strings in a different way. Imagine being depress and you keep listening to a song that goes like, “I love you.. I don’t need anything, I just need you. I don’t need air. I don’t need clothes . I just need you. I will stand at your door till you come back to me.”
Now imagine listening to that over and over again. The sound waves will eventually penetrate and hijack your thought process and like a hypnotized zombie, you suddenly realize you are in front of her door, waiting for her outside her apartment, holding your breath, butt naked. -__-”
5) You are a guy so take it like a man-child that you are!
Face it, you are a guy and that means you gotta be tough. It’s okay to cry but don’t go into depress mode so long till you go blind like Kassim Selamat. (Ermm.. if you don’t know who Kassim Selamat is, go ask a Malay friend of yours 
And no, he is not Mas Selamat’s brother.) Never get your hopes up and always be ready for a rejection.
The game is set where the guy has to make the first move, lower down the ego and ask the girl BUT the guy CAN CHOOSE which girl to ask. Girls on the other hand may like a guy but if the guy they fancy don’t ask, they cannot do anything about it. It kinda balances things out.
If you think that’s tough, just be glad we don’t have to perform mating ritual dances like the Animal Kindom. Can you imagine buying colorful costumes from Halloween stores and practicing dance routines to win a girl’s heart? If that’s the case, I reserve the cowboy hat with the peacock feather dress. No girl can resist those colors! Bwahaahah!
Bottom line, after you are done bawling your eyes out, get back on your feet and target other girls.
6) Go to the Darkside
Ok, if its really tough for you to let her go, the last phase is to write down the things you don’t like about her. You need to change your depression to hate and trust me everybody got flaws. Your list may look like this:
1) She may be pretty but she is materialistic.
2) She like to curse a lot. I don’t want to live with a girl who have a foul mouth.
3) She likes to litter. I like to keep Singapore clean.
Ok maybe point 3 is kinda lame. I’m sure you can do better than that. Get the hate juice running, and seriously sit down and scrutinize her character. Go to the darkside (besides, I heard they have cookies) and make Darth Vader proud. By the time you are done writing a convincing list, its easier to let her go knowing such a crappy person she is.
Yoda: Much hate in you, I sense. Forever a virgin, you will be.
Shut up Yoda, I’m trying to mend some broken hearts here! Geeez!
7) And lastly, you have to tell yourself, it’s not meant to be.
This is not you coming up with excuses to make yourself feel good nor are you being bitter. But it’s the truth. Without being preachy much, it is not you who choose who you gonna end up with, but it is God that does the choosing. If a girl says no or it’s not working out, it’s one way God is protecting you from problems that will arise in the future. I’ve seen couples break up just prior to getting married and even though they feel upset, after awhile, they’ll say, “It’s for the better.” And it’s true.
Pick up the pieces and move on,
Evil bunny